Vocal freedom

Funny thing about sex when you are younger.  You either had a screamer or a mute. There really was no middle ground that I recall. Plus not really having a private venue didn’t help either.  So with that said, there were not very many vocal woman that I knew when I grew up.  Thinking about it now, there were none that were vocal.  And actually only met one that squirted back then too, although didn’t know about that till I was much older.  Even the porn didn’t really show that side as of yet.

Growing up finding porn was not easy to find.  And when you did find it, well if you watch the porn from 80’s and 90’s you would understand.  The girls are loud, crying out how great the man is and how amazing his skills are.  Listening to this, and using this as a majority of my sex ed, you kind of assume that is normal.  How wrong that is.  Now, don’t get me wrong.  The techniques still apply, but the additional “acting” is not part of sex.  So once understanding this I was able to separate the real and not real and apply this to my sex life.

So fast forward to now and it almost is the opposite.  Majority of the woman I have known are vocal.  Each in their own way, some moaning where others call out commands or names.  And even others who basically get louder as the closer they are to coming.  Even my wife of 15 years has only started to be vocal in the past three years.  A lot of it is being comfortable in their own skin.  And no one else around, although lately I have vocally told her to get loud during sex and she has.  Hope the boys stay sound sleepers.

For my self, over the past few years I have also gotten vocal, although on two different fronts.  One is my commanding the woman.  Suggestions or directions I will call out to the woman.  Some vary like “Cum for me” or “If you don’t cum I am pulling out”.  All depends on the woman and how they will respond to it.  Secondly I have actually gotten vocal when I cum now.  Never happened when I was younger, or even when I was married.  Not sure why, but it has been a common thing now.  It is kind of hot knowing that my wife knows when I cum by hearing my vocal queues from another room.

Now the other side of the coin has been used, where I have told the woman you can’t make any noise.  This adds an interesting challenge since they have to control one part of their body.  Yes it is a bit cruel, but then again they do this on their own if they don’t want anyone to hear.  So forcing adds some fun, although I back it up by “if you make any noise I pull out and go to sleep”.  Funny how they work very hard to be quiet as they are cumming.

Freedom to express yourself in bed is important.  Vocally is common way for woman, and men, to express themselves.  Telling her something in her ear as you are fucking her can put woman over the edge.  Or even just saying something sexy to her as she is sucking your cock.  Really doesn’t matter.  Woman are just as much mentally stimulated as physically (some more mentally) and using your voice even if it is groaning or commands can help them get excited faster which is a bonus for you.

Woman don’t be afraid to comment with your voice as well.  You are all complicated beings, and us men do a our best to figure you out.  There is no instruction manual with woman, so if things are not going right tell us.  Just make sure to do it in a suggestive manner.  Not all men take to commands well in bed (although there are some that do).  And if you are cumming, let the man know.  Majority of them want to know this and can not always tell if you are.  Like I said, no instruction manual so you have to verbally tell us sometimes.  And my experience with woman cumming of late is everyone has a very different reaction.  So sometimes it is a good thing to tell the man you are cumming.

With that all said this by no means a hard and fast rule.  It is an observation that I have noticed and because of it my technique has adjusted.  I work from the vocal queues that the woman gives, not just their body language.  This helps me please them and at times make them cum faster.  And even advising woman on how they are doing pleasing me I have tried to be vocal.  Not always easy, but I am learning.  So don’t be afraid to get a little loud.  Talk during sex can be very erotic, just take it slow at first and see how it goes.  You might be surprised on how little you say can go a long way.