To my wives…

This is the follow up to the Guilty Goodbye, since I made one critical mistake.  When I arranged to meet Lilly on the Friday before I went home, I didn’t advise either of my wives of the rendezvous.  We have an open relationship and tell each other everything.  I left this detail out, and even when I did have an option to tell them I got scared.  If you read the story I think you can get the sense on how all over the place I was.  That day was long and I really did have a lot of emotions going through me.  Seeing my wife after 11 days was the longest we have been apart.  Not to mention the NRE.  This not an excuse, but it trying to understand my mindset that day, which to be fair was not thinking clearly.Now you are probably thinking, “How can you be scared?”

When I didn’t  disclose something, the longer it goes the harder it is to let it out.  For me I really didn’t intentionally want this to happen.  The Friday was a long day.  Between work, dealing with my idiot co-workers who really can’t seem to be on time for most things, and then a new relationship I was on a roller coaster.  My emotions were all over the place and on Friday even more so.  I had no intentions on seeing Lilly again but chance allowed it to happen.  The problem is once it is past a certain time frame of not saying it, you start to think it could be worse saying it now.

The temptation was so strong, and I knew it was wrong.  She had trust issues and I didn’t want to breach or make her uncomfortable.  I also had responsibility to get to the airport at the appropriate time.  So risking the chance to drive in the opposite direction and then drive all the way back was a big gamble.  I was not thinking straight, and honestly once my cock got hard while talking to her it was the one thinking.  I was in NRE with Lilly that seemed to draw me to her.  I also have a responsibility to my wives as well.  I could have easily sent a text but why didn’t I?

Worried on how my wives would perceive my relationship with her since it was again one of my whirlwind romances.  They know that Lilly and me connected, but I didn’t want to them to think it was more.  Well yes it is more, in the sense I have strong feelings for Lilly.  I care for her.  I wish I could comfort her more when she does have a bad day.  So here I am some weeks later and out comes a blog from Lilly describing how our adventure went.  Including the Friday that I didn’t mention.

My wives are understanding.  Sometimes more then I deserve.  It did bring up some tears, and a long discussion with my wife.  I told my poly wife in person the next time I saw her since I didn’t want it done by text.  She understood but would have preferred to known sooner.  Regardless I fucked up.  Even Lilly bitch slapped from across 900 km.  So yes I made a major mistake.

I have now made sure that I communicate, regardless on how slim a chance it might be, on any potential dates with my fwb.  Open communication is so important and I didn’t do that with my wives.  This is on me, regardless on how emotional, tired or forgetful I was on that day.

Always talk, including everything no matter how much fear, worry or concern you might have on the reaction of the information that you are providing.  The problem is if you don’t talk and things come out then things could get worse.  Having everything out in the open is important.  Hence the OPEN marriage.  I made a mistake, and then as it went on made it worse.  Knowing now I don’t plan to let this happen again.