The good and the bad

The hardest part in the lifestyle is how things evolve. My wife found BDSM with our poly couple. I never would have thought this would be something she is interested in.  Nor something I can do myself.

Sure I have dabbled when I was younger with control.  Voice and maybe holding a girls hands down.  Giving orders and controlling them during sex.  Even told I’m good at it.  I also know I can’t go to the darker side of it.  Which is why I have the poly husband to do that for me. 

So when she found a new boy toy (my nickname for her new boyfriend) and heard he was in that part of lifestyle I was a bit excited.  For here to explore more. Something I can’t do.  Not really anyways.

Good thing about me of late is I’m back in tune with my wife.  She came home and told me she is not a car virgin no more. I was happy for her.  And she confirmed the spot that I figured would be good for it.  When she was getting a glass of wine I knew something was off. Not her getting the wine but just her mannerisms. When asked she let it out.  She was frustrated.  Hurt and I think a bit confused.  We cuddled in bed that night and feel asleep.

At 5:30 am my spider senses went off. Looking over she was up. And I know she wasn’t working out. Heading downstairs I found her writing. I know why. She has done this a few times over the past few years.  She asked why I was up.  I told her.  She cried.  Consoling her I let her have her tears flow.  She went back to writing and I made my morning coffee.

The blog post is not finished.  Yes she ended it but there will be more to come.  They will talk more and I know things will get sorted out.  I just don’t like to have my wife go through this.  She has never dated outside of me so she is still learning things about herself along with dating someone.  Supporting her on finding someone else is an odd feeling.

When you are married and monagmous you support each other with friendships. Different when open relationship and you are supporting her fetishes and new boyfriends. More complicated and emotions run higher at times.   And with more parties involved it just adds to it.

So here I am sitting downstairs typing out this and wondering what will transpire from it. Talking to my two close fwb about this.  Actually three my poly wife just signed on. So I should focus on chatting to them while my wife catnap and hopefully dreaming happy thoughts.

Till next time