Subject to opinion

For those that know me please understand this is what I perceive.

So trying to find new blood.   Not a lot of options outside of dating sites.   Really hate them since in my previous rants women really seem to be picky.   With that said it also could be related to volume.  Either way it is rare for me to get a response.

I talked to one lady for about a week and a bit.  Talk is over rated.   There was no connection.  I asked a question about her experience and it went well.   Problem is that she didn’t engage.  I don’t do well on one side conversations.  No surprise that she  cut it off today.   I didn’t feel it either but still it has me wondering.  

Then there is the new one I message this weekend.   She is in open relationship.  Figure it would at least get a response.  Nope.  She viewed my profile and nothing.   So it leaves me with an impression.  I am just not that attractive.

Now you ask why I state that.  I have other friends who get way more responses.   Not to mention women engaging them first.   This leaves me at a confused..   I can’t understand why no one seems to want to talk to me.   Granted I don’t state my lifestyle on those sites but that is more since most women don’t like the idea of sharing.

Being told that I am attractive is to me hollow.  I never had a girl chat me up.   Always my friends that get that.   Heck in a group of my friends they almost always get the attention.

Which is why I have issues with it.  I fought for attention my whole life.   My sister always took the attention.  And even after she has passed I still seem to not get it.   At least from my perspective.

Hard thing to digest.   I would think that I am average on looks.  No one wanting to talk to me or engage means to me that I am not attractive.   Sad actually.   I am basing this on perception but online dating that is 90% of it until you talk.

I am wits end.   I really don’t have the care or effort to find someone if these women just want something that is superficial.  Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t argue with a hot sexy girl.  I just don’t get that option.   Never will.  Even when I did way back when it was used for convenience.  She didn’t care about me.

Really tired of bitching about this but of late it is what is happening to me.  My fetish is new blood.  With nothing available I am floundering.  Lost at sea with no life preservative wonder if I will find land.   Luckily I can handle the swells but eventually it wont last.  Either I find land or be swalled by the ocean.  At this rate I suspect that it won’t be land.

Maybe I need to stop.  Not look. Maybe take a break?  I just don’t find it interesting when I make effort and I get a black hole for response.  Not that the girls I have tried to engage with are 10’s.  Far from it.   Again with physical appearance.   See how it ties in?

Physical appearance is always a factor.   Comparing and judging is second nature to us.   I think it is time I actually start to look for what I want and not what is available.