I have been battling in the past few months the rules we have in place for my wife and me. I guess battling isn’t the right word. More like trying to stay within the rules. My brain knows what they are but my pecker seems to always have different ideas. Something that drives me nuts when I am with a woman but know the limitations, but wanting to go further. Lately it has been a losing battle, let me explain.
When we first started this out so long ago (just short of three years) I was not able to find any fwb. Sure the odd crazy girl showed up on the radar but I really didn’t find that one person(s) that I clicked with. Rules back than were more to protect us both, but it was leaning more about my wife who never really dated or had a sex drive when younger. She was the one having dates and going out. She was actually behaving like a teenage horny girl which is great although can be a bit risky. I think the last incident of having the car run out of juice because they parked for so long and that she blew the guy kind of sealed the deal on how we don’t like surprises. I have no issues with what my wife does, but with all the stuff that happened that night I think we needed some more structured rules.
Our rules back than were pretty rigid and black and white. Over time we have they have loosened and corrected ones that were to rigid. Like ourselves we have evolved and grown and the rules need to match how we have changed. The no surprise rule is still in place. What also has changed is fwb. Over the past few years I have meet more woman, some who have stayed with me through this journey. I know have a few fwb although majority of them have family so seeing them is not that easy. The one major draw back with this is unlike swinging where the couple is involved and it makes it easier to meet as a group, fwb is not. This is where the rules seem to be good and bad.
When we don’t have the kids home and the wife is way the house is empty. This allows me freedom to have someone. During the summer this worked out really well, although some of those encounters were more last minute. It was a very good summmer but with fall here the routine is back, and it is near impossible to get the house empty. Since my fwb are in the same boot, it makes meeting for sex very hard. No we don’t just meet for sex all the time, we do hang out besides that. It is just if we want any fun time it is very hard to do with a full house. I do not believe in hotels just for sex, and car sex is for the young (yes tried a while ago and no it is not as fun now). So that leaves opportunity when it happens and well it is slim pickings right now.
In agreement with my wife having sex in the house while she is here is not an option. It has happened a couple of times, and it was by circumstance but of late it is not an option. I agree with that, although it makes it sure hard to stay within those rules. Even when I have a girl over and we make out, I know that I want to fuck her, but with the rules in place I have to behave. As hard as it is (cock included) I hold to the rules although every screaming fiber in my body is saying “go for it”. Rules are not made to be broken, unlike rules in real life where they can be bent or circumvented. Rules in the lifestyle can not.
I have told my wife to fuck one of her old swinger boyfriends (visiting for work related in the area) one night. She didn’t have the option since the bed is to noisy in that room although she gave him a blow job but still I thought she would have at least fucked him. I waited patiently, writing a blog in bed wondering what is happening. The funny thing is when this was all happening, I was getting excited. The unknowing if she is fucking him, or even doing anything was getting me worked up. With all the rules in place and ensuring no surprises it was a new sensation for me having the surprise on what might have happened.
The surprise is what has been a bit confusing. Before we didn’t want to be surprised, but lately it has been more excitement. Wondering if she went all the way? Did she blow him first or fucked him? I have not always asked for details since it really depends on my mood. Yes I get moody too sometimes, usually relating to outside forces that are not the lifestyle. With this in mind it is something that has been growing of late. The surprise seems to be where I am getting excited. Thinking of my wife screaming out as a cock is pounding into her has gotten me aroused which is a good thing. I am not a cuckold where I like to watch although in a group environment I do enjoy it. Making woman cum is gets me off, and if someone is doing that to my wife surprisingly it gets me a off a little.
Another factor is that if I have an opportunity than I am allowed to pursue. If I am out and there is a chance than I have option to get laid, just making sure to inform my wife on potential opportunity. Krystalla gets off on me with other woman, plus she knows the benefits when I get home. This I think has lead to our slow evolution of being surprised, more on how far the partner went. Excitement of not knowing is more now since we are comfortable in our relationship. We have grown so much and the surprise can be appreciated more than when we were beginning and still trying to get our feet on solid ground.
Protecting our relationship with the rules is how this all started. We explored, evolved and grown to know ourselves better and our partners. Without those rules things would have cascaded into disaster since structure and communication is so important. I know Krystalla has the rules posted on her blog, and I would post them here but honestly there really is only two rules that I focus on. Communicating the extent of the encounter and making sure she is fully aware on the plans. That is basically it, since it makes the partner involved. There is no gray area with that since we are a team, committed to each other and share in the experiences. The rules do run our lifestyle as a couple but it allows us to explore, communicate and evolve both as a couple.
Take your time to review them on a regular basis. It will ensure that you are both on the same page, and you might find that some of them could be tweaked to enhance your experience. The rules that you have as a couple is not set in stone, but they are agreed upon by both partners. If there is something that is bugging you than bring it up. Talk it out, you might be surprised that your partner is also thinking the same thing, or can understand why it is not working as you originally thought. You are to explore this together, even if you are not doing the same thing and making sure the rules are working for you both of you and not against is very important.
I appreciate it if you share, like and spread my blog around. With the changing of hosting my blog I am back to the beginning and will take time to build up my subscribers again. And don’t’ be afraid to comment, no one is here to judge and without discussion how can you every get out what you are wondering?
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