Reflection of four different needs

Our quad has settled into a relationship that has become more like married.  It has almost been two years since we met and things have evolved dramatically.  This past year has been an eye opener for all of us.  Needs and desires for each person is different.  Nothing wrong with that at all unless they are not full filled.  Of late this seems to be a common theme.  Maybe things are becoming to comfortable and we need to shake things up a bit.

Fetishes are not my thing.  Well not in the same realm as my wife and her poly husband.  They have bonded over theirs and my trust with him has allowed her to explore things that I could never do.  I am glad she has this outlet and for both of them it gives them some satisfaction when they do have their time together.  What had me bugged recently is that I feel I am inadequate because I can’t do what he does.  Recently came to light something that he did to her and I was little surprised.  Both wives asked shortly after if I was okay and I said yes just didn’t expect that sort of action, and with my shy innocent wife of three years ago that has now become way more than wild.  Silly of me to think that way but it does make me feel I can’t perform to what she wants.  Both of them know this and say that I do things differently. I do but little things can creep in to your mind.  Surprising I have had some great sex since that revelation so maybe the ego boost is what I needed.

Then there is my poly wife who wants to have something in between.  The sensory overload having touch, sight, and sound manipulated.  To enhance the experience and drive her over the edge.  This is something I could do but it really is something that I would have to feel out.  Plus I am haven’t really had a lot of experience in dealing with this type of foreplay.  Sure, dabbling in a little with my wife has happened to a limited extent.  She wants more and to explore it.  Both do actually, lol.  This is something that I will explore in the coming months, I just have to figure out how.

The group play has been somewhat limited of late.  Routine and other factors has not helped and because of that we really have not had done much.  Compared to our first year were we have done lots of group play and exploring.  Since then it has been very limited, and this is a combination of factors.  Not to make excuses but I also found that timing has been a major factor.  If my mindset is not in the mood then nothing the woman can do will make it fun.  The last time we tried I felt forced and it didn’t work.  Why?  My mind had other thoughts on what should be happening, and because of that caused me some frustration.  And if any man knows, frustration is not something that goes well with sex.

And for me, my needs have been met in limited quantities, with the summer having some new blood.  Since then there has been no new girls to talk too.  I have been searching for new local blood and have had no fucking success.  It has been frustrating and driving me nuts since woman just seem to be able to attract all types with no effort.  Any effort I make ends up with silence.  Crickets.  And sure doesn’t help my self esteem when putting myself out there and getting bitched slap with silence.  I won’t go into my venting again since I have numerous blogs about dating sites, but needless to say I am getting to the point of giving up.  Spending effort and time with no responses is in my opinion is a waste.

So there are four needs and desires with some getting fulfilled and others not.  I won’t even go into the few fwb that I do talk to and their needs.  Well their needs is my cock but with no place to go that makes it pretty hard to do.  That and work, family and life getting in the way there is the time to see each other.  Plus I really can’t be out all the time or my wife is then neglected, so it is a balancing act.  Plus she also has a new boy toy she is chatting with, so factoring that in as well.

This past year there has been a lot more emotion and little NRE (new relationship energy).  Much like any relationship things ebb and flow, and we will make the best of it as we always do.  Just need to focus on specific areas to make sure everyone gets a taste of what they are looking for.  Things have changed over this year, but that is for the good.  Now we get to focus on our quad and desires and into 2015 it should be another wild ride.