Another year has come and past. The highs and lows of the past year has been extreme, with many changes to everyone that I have been involved with. Medical, family, personal and just about any other issue has been felt by all. If you told me three years ago that I would be leading a double life in that I have a poly wife, a couple of fwb that I see once a quarter if I am lucky, and how my wife has opened up to the BDSM side of things I would have said “You are full of shit!”
I really have not expected how things have evolved this year. Our quad has started to balance out the past few months. Meaning that medically everyone is starting to be back to normal. This has taken a lot of pressure off of me at times since I felt I was the only one that was thinking straight some days. Then again, there were times that my cock was doing the thinking. Regardless I am happy things are starting to move toward normal, if we can even decide what normal is in this lifestyle.
For myself, I have learned a lot about my desires, urges and personal taste. For one, I really enjoy the taste of new blood, almost like a blood lust sometimes. When it comes to that point I get tunnel vision, and this is where I am trying to control myself. Surprisingly, being sober also makes me tamer which I didn’t expect. Found that out when a hot 43 cougar was hitting on me at the club and I didn’t act on it. Kick myself for that, but chalk it up to experience. As to tastes well surprisingly I also am starting to get a little picky. Sure I could be the disgusting man and fuck anything with two legs and a heart beat but honestly I have done that before. So I am being a little more selective, although then again I really haven’t had much chance to do that since woman don’t fucking talk on dating sites.
Another learning experience is that dating, single or married, is a fucking pain in the ass. All year I have been hunting with no success. Granted I did find one sexy lady, but within a few months she found a bf and has been exclusive since. So I guess one out of 365 days is not bad odds. Yeah fuck that!!!! Wife has been hunting again and has had so much interest that it makes you wonder what do I have to do get even a woman to talk. Standing on my head with a hard-on? No ladies nice try I won’t do that, since some of you were imaging it and going to ask to see that!
The new year is here and I do have some small resolutions. Nothing really to complicated. Primary one is that I find a local fuck buddy. Plain and simple. My fetish is not something that our quad or even our couples can resolve so I need to do this for myself. Second is to ensure my wife gets everything that she is looking for this year. Tall order but hey I do have just shy of 365 days to figure it out. Third is to get the quad out on the vacation that has been talked about for so long. We now have a firm date and once we have the location booked I will relax a bit more. Four and this is the hardest one, seeing our friends a hell of a lot more this year. The quad took priority this year and with that we didn’t see as many of our friends as we wanted. I really want to change that this year.
Pretty big laundry list of thoughts and wishes but I think that it will give me a good focus. I didn’t even touch on my personal life and how I want to improve things there as well. I hope there are big changes with my wife and I, more on the work side of things. With a little luck things will change, just takes time and patience. There is also another project that I want to start but will see if I have the time. Which is the main killer of late since time seems to always be against us.
Oh and to loose the weight, get in shape and win the lottery. Oh, you have those picked too? Can we work on one of those together 😉 Bet we pick the same one that we want to work on.
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