In an online world where everything is visible it is amazing on how much you can find regarding porn. It is also how you can meet like minded people and hide behind a screen name. Granted there are a few sites that use real names but majority don’t. You have an alias that you use to hide behind. With this in mind why is it that woman seem to think that ignoring every single message is proper etiquette?
Where this is coming from is watching the differences between my wife and myself regarding a dating site (she has since closed hers). The men seem to flock and respond to her and she responds to the ones that are respectful. I have no idea on how the disrespectful guys plan to get laid with the comments and messages that they say. Honestly, if you think that you are a great match and you can make my wife expand more on sexual awareness than you haven’t read her blog or even her profile. Not to mention that having a big dick usually means you are just a big dick (not majority but it sure seems to be a trend).
My question really is why are the woman not chasing the men? With the alias you are not giving away any information. You can block anyone at any time if you feel that you don’t want to talk to them. So why sit there and wait to be attacked by all these men? Is it attention? Feeling powerful? To many messages you don’t have time? Seriously, why is it that you don’t make the first move. This is now era of woman taking power and the traditional dating schemes have been out the window for years. Why not take a leap after reading a profile and sending him a message. It is just as fucking hard for us decent guys to asking a question knowing that high chance that we will be ignored.
Which is my main point, being ignored. Guys have a confidence system that can easily be shattered. I don’t care if you are the best looking guy on earth. If you send out ten messages and none get a response back, your confidence takes a hit. You start to wonder what is wrong with you. Did I say something wrong? Am I not good enough? Maybe my profile is to detailed, or maybe to honest (which is probably why I am not getting much responses). It eventually wears us down and we become less confident. An woman like confident woman don’t they?
When I started my online dating profile I had a couple girls chatted that same day. I was on a high. What than turned to complete negative reaction was a week later. Nothing. Deathly quiet. Crickets. After sending out a few more messages that week I got nothing back. Granted I am selective and did not send any messages to woman that did not want an open relationship. From a high at the beginning with a few woman just saying hi and now nothing. I have no confidence in sending out any new introductions if they are just going to be filed in away and not responded too. I even make the messages different for each one, not some silly pickup line.
Yes there are assholes out there and that will never change. The issue is that with the men who have been knocked down, shattered and have no confidence will not approach you. Do you really want this opportunity missed by the good ones? Of course not so take the initiative. For any woman that sends a message first, it is gives the guy a high. A boost to his ego and confidence. And with that you might have found someone that you like. Worst case you say no thank you and move on. And that is another point. Don’t just disappear, be respectful. Of course that also depends on the guy if he is being a dick or not. Remember the hound dogs will hunt you down and that won’t change, but the quiet ones might surprise you.
So be proactive and initiate contact with men. Don’t sit back and let all the horn dogs flood your mailbox when you could have man that are respectful and decent talking to you instead. Granted, that is not always the case, but it is something that you have control over. The key word is control. To afraid to take a leap in saying hi, but you want us men to do this all the time, so why not take the burden off of our shoulders for a change.
So I challenge the woman who read this to start up a conversation with a new guy. The assholes will still be out there and will flood your mailbox. This will never change and you can laugh at the pick up lines all you want. Since you are on the site to meet someone than you need to engage so why not send a message to the quiet guys. The ones that haven’t sent you a message since they are to scared of rejection. The ones that are probably way better in bed since they respect the woman more than the tools that are using the pickup lines to just get into your pants(okay I may have went to far on the that, but hey, how do you know unless you talk to us shy ones). What do you have to lose besides the simple “block” if it doesn’t work out. Us men like to get attention too from a stranger. You might be surprised on the results that you find.
And if you want to talk to me than feel free to send me message from my contact page or on twitter.
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