Juggling all these balls is challenging

For the past few days I have been having the highs and lows of emotions.  Feel great at one point than get slammed with another blind side that I have to deal with.  Granted, normally a man only has to deal with one wife, but having a poly wife and than a couple fwb, well you can see how it gets complicated.  

With that said I am no way bitching about what I have.  I am fortunate and I wouldn’t change anything.  I care for all my woman, and that is probably why I get so frustrated sometimes since I am trying to juggle emotions, feelings, and perception.  And than throw in PMS, which for some ironic reason the majority are close to the same cycle, which makes for the perfect storm.

So here I am wondering if the tide has calmed and no more waves. It has been a crazy week. Plus the past few weeks have been busy with new woman, group sex, discussions and lots of alcohol. So I guess it is no surprised it took me two days to get back to not being tired. Physically and emotionally drained is not much fun.

One of my friends doesn’t know how I do it, and I don’t either to be honest.  When my phone goes quiet I miss the chatter but when it goes crazy, usually involves questions and feelings lately. It is a challenge dealing with multiple woman. Men are so much simpler, most of the time.

So juggling all these relationships, is almost a full time job.  Between keeping my two wives happy, and than making sure that my fwb are happy as well has become surprisingly involved.   I didn’t think that it would, but it has and ironically I am loving it.  Of course I love attention, which is probably why I am loving it.  It can drive me mad some days, and when my phone goes quiet I get annoyed, but I am enjoying every minute of it.  And what man wouldn’t? The fact that there is more than one woman that is willing to spend time with them?  And not just in a sexual way but to talk and enjoy each others company.

I think my next emotion is what has surprised me the most. Guilt. I have never been in this type of situation before. Never ever had two girls friends at once when I younger. So now have a few at once has exposed the guilt feeling. More towards my wife since she is my first and towards my poly wife 500km away. I can enjoy the other woman’s company but feeling guilty also because my wife is home with kids and dogs alone.

I know I don’t need to feel this way. My wife enjoys me being with other woman. She benefits too after I come home. It is just I worry she thinks that I want to spend more time with my fwb than her. This is not true at all. Heck I would love it if we just all hanged out together. I don’t want to impose this on any my woman friends since they might feel uncomfortable with it. And I don’t want to have my wife think I will end up fucking them after either. So it leaves me in a dilimia of sorts.

I might look greedy but one thing that most people don’t know is that I enjoy to entertain. More like an invisible host watching everyone get along. Maybe why I don’t join into group play easily since I know everyone is having fun. Don’t want to interrupt them. Something I am focusing on for future adventures which will take time

So that leaves me battling how to balance woman, guilt, emotions, and anything else that appears at random. Makes for some special times. No wonder I need an outlet to escape for myself. Think I will boot up titanfall and escape for a little bit. Soon enough my wife will be done giving me that pouting look. Can never resist that (shh, don’t tell her that). At least I can balance myself so that juggling everything else is a little easier.