Intimacy

Many people don’t understand the lifestyle, or at least find it hard to grasp.  The main hangup is the sex act.  How can you fuck someone else and not love them?  Or how can you let your spouse go and fuck someone else, don’t you love them?  I think what everyone is working through is how intimate the act is.  Sex can be intimate, but also just sex.  Pleasure with no regret on cumming, fucking, sucking or any other act you do.  Now what about after sex?  Is there intimacy beyond the sex act?

The definition of intimacy is: a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.  There is also sexual intercourse listed as well.  There are other definitions but these two point more towards the acts of sex.  Sex can be intimate, I won’t even bother trying to argue or discuss that point.  Every act of sex is also different.  Some is passion or lust but you also expose yourself to the other person.  This is where I think intimacy plays a role.  You are opening yourself up to another person.  Showing the true self during the act of sex.  So clearly we have sex as intimate.

So what other areas are classified as intimate?  If you are out with a group of people and you hold someones hand is that intimate?  Sitting on a couch cuddling?  Chatting or texting?  Watching a movie together?  Sleeping together?  Does the definition clearly outline the points listed as intimate?  Reviewing the definition I have to say it really depends on how you classify affectionate or loving.  I love my wife but doesn’t mean that everything I do is intimate with her does it?  The definition is very broad, like most are.  It is how you translate and apply to yourself to understand what you think is intimate.

For me I say physical contact is definitely a clear point of intimacy.  Now texting and chatting can also be that if topic of discussion is opening you up and exposing yourself.  Clearly holding hands and cuddling are intimate acts.  Watching a movie together, depending if you are cuddling, could also be intimate.  Sleeping together, which is to say in the same bed, might be intimate.  I would guess that if you are cuddling in bed after sex and fall asleep that would be intimate.  Now if you roll over and are not touching is it still intimate?  With the previous statements I would have to think this is a bit of a gray area.  Maybe since you have had sex it could be that, but if you didn’t then I wouldn’t say it is intimate.

Everyone interprets the definition of intimacy and how it relates to them differently.  For myself I think being intimate with a woman is physical contact.  Sure sexting is also that, but the actual act of playing with a womans pussy and slipping your cock into it is intimate.  For a woman to allow a man, or woman, to get that far exposes themselves and opens them up.  It is a hard thing to do for some woman, and for others it is easier.  Like myself it really comes down on how you interpret the definition and how it applies to you.

Sex is a natural act.  Been around long before we were born or even thought of.  Just because you can invite someone over and have sex doesn’t mean that you are in love.  It more means that you are being intimate.  You are opening yourself up to having fun with someone else.  The carnal act of sex can be hot, steamy and lustful which is exposing yourself.  For a lot of woman that is something they don’t take lightly.  For us men, we seem to look at differently.  Sure I have felt lust and also felt love.  I have shared intimate details with all the girls I talk too.  I don’t mind exposing myself, to a degree.  Won’t be divulging my deepest darkest secrets but will share pretty much everything else.  Does that mean I am to intimate?  I hope not since I won’t change.  Not like I pour my soul out to everyone, but I do share what I feel at the time is appropriate.

Hopefully I made you think a bit more about intimacy.  For myself I have sometimes forgotten how subtle you can be when showing acts of intimacy.  Little things can be just as important as the more obvious ones.  You never know, maybe the little things will lead to the partner opening up more and with that lead to more adventurous things.