Inner circles

One thing that I have found interesting is the amount of relationships that you can build in the lifestyle.  The interaction and how everyone knows each other fascinates me.  This also means that there are potentially more risk.  Open communication is so important, more so with multiple partners.

Recently had my tests done for STD and came back negative.  I was not to worried about it.  Want to find an easier way to do this since I don’t want to have to book my appointment with my doctor each time.  This also brings up another point that has been on my mind all weekend.  Exposing the group to a potential risk.  Not something that I want to happen, but with this lifestyle there is bound to be a question about it.

Let me step back and qualify something.  Last year a member of our quad had found a fwb.  Unfortunately an issue came up with STD and because of the risk to the quad it was tabled for all of us to discuss.  It was a pretty short conversation, and it didn’t take long for the option to continue was rejected due to the risk.  It was not something that was easy to discuss and I knew it would be something that will come up again.

Our quad has also gotten more social of late. Well not us but our other couple, going to regular hangouts with like-minded people. This has allowed them to meet and get to know others in the lifestyle.  I am a little envious with the options, for one that they have a decent group of like-minded friends that regularly hangout and do activities.  We don’t really have that were we are, at least not to the degree it seems.  Most likely we will try to get out for one meet up just to get a basis of the people in our area.

Anyways I am getting side tracked.  We actually got to meet their friends one evening for a party.  Lot of fun that evening and I can understand why they got along with this group.  Friendly and respectful, everyone seem to just get along so easily, it was a great evening of laughs.  Also let me meet another lady who has me curious, and by chance she was going to near by for business a month later.  She asked me if I was free and if I wanted to go out, which I jumped at the chance.  Sex was not on the table, but it was still be a good time in just hanging out.

We texted on and off up to the day of the date.  Discussing her relationships issues and other facts about both of ourselves.  By the time the date rolled around I had a fairly good understanding of who she was.  At least until dinner that evening.  She opened up more, and I was probably wide-eyed at the information that she provided to me.  Needless to say I had a great time at dinner.  The stories we shared about past experiences along with likes had me curious.  After we got back to her hotel, which we couldn’t stay in her room for a number of reasons, we just wandered the property talking.  This is where the awkward conversation came up, the one where STD is brought up.

The reason I say awkward is very important.  First it was cute how she was fumbling around trying to get this issue brought up.  Secondly, the only reason most people are awkward about something that could affect them along with the person they are talking to is because she has interests.  I already had some idea of this talking to the quad, but this was the first clear sign that she was interested in me.  This is what made my mind go into overdrive as she attempted to explain the situation.  It is not overly complicated, the risk is still a risk and needed to be brought up.  She also was aware of the situation that was brought up before since she is also friends with that lady.  Like I implied earlier, small circle of friends.

We didn’t do anything that evening, as much as I really wanted too.  Someone how my cock was rock hard just hugging her.  Which reminds me I still have to get her back for that.  Anyways, this brought up the need to have another talk with the quad.  Krystalla stated that this is a different situation and as much as she tried to make me believe that, I knew that it wasn’t.  After the last meeting it was pretty clear to the woman on what needed to be done.  I didn’t think it was going to be that complicated this time either.

The discussion was pretty quick.  Honestly, it was mostly the woman talking.  Both of us men were quiet, knowing the outcome regardless of this formal talk over Skype.  I basically did a “I told you so” at the end and basically vented to myself as I was outside having a brain break.  I think my main concern is not the STD, the risks to the quad, or even to the my other fwb, but that it feels that we shunned this person because of the potential exposure she could have.  Think that is my biggest issue.  Feeling that we isolate them because of the risk.  Sure we hang out, party and flirt, but the physical part is off-limits due to the risk.

The last thing that was going through my mind was my fwb.  The risk and exposure are something that I can’t share with them, and to be honest I hope that they have the same respect for me if they are also finding something like this out.  One of my former fwb had a scare after we first met.  Timeline I was not affected, but it was something that made me realize that the risk does exist.  You see I went bareback before I was married.  I rarely used condoms.  Really wasn’t the most innocent back then.  Then again I am not really that innocent right now.

So after all this writing, and telling everyone about this situation, what is the point to this blog post?  Simple, get tested on regular basis if you are in the lifestyle.  Always make sure you are upfront with any potential play partner about your current status of STD.  There is nothing to be embarrassed about asking if someone has been tested.  For the sake of everyone that you are involved with, especially your primary partner, make sure to understand if there any risks.  Not like when I was younger and didn’t care, I am now dating for two.  Well, four if you really want to get technical.  Either way the risk I take is also risk for everyone in the quad and not something that I want to risk.  The conversation that we have had now on STD has started other discussions regarding STD.  This topic will never go away and that is good.  It makes sure that we are aware and thinking about that when playing with anyone new, if it happens in the future.