Friends first sex later

There are no rule book for the lifestyle. If there were it would probably mean that more people would be looking into it. Well, maybe not more but it does show that couples make the lifestyle what they want it to be. Much like a relationship it evolves as the couple searches for what they want out of it.

The misconception of the life style is that we go out and fuck. As much fun that can be the older you get the less appealing it becomes.  Not that it feels empty or just need to get off but as you get older you like the connection.  You enjoy the company, and as much as some people think it is easy to find a one night stand, well try to do that with a couple.  Remember both partners have to like the other couple since we don’t take one for the team.  Not that easy to do since there are no walk up vendors that you can ask “Do you have X couple with Y personalities”.  Granted this is our rule, and some do take one for the team, or just watch if they are want to.  For us we love to play together.  Which is why we look for more than just a one night stand.

Like I mentioned earlier every couple follows their own path. Sure, once in a blue moon it might be fun but the one thing that we really enjoy is the companionship.  Friends first is one of our golden rules.  It allows to relax and enjoy their company.  Socializing with the company is one of the key benefits. The other is you don’t have to hide anything. You can share experiences both the good and the bad.  Relaxing with good friends is as rewarding as the naughty fun that could happen.  Oh and you can tease and torture each other throughout the evening.

The drawback to this is that finding a couple that you enjoy their company is not easy.  Add to the fact that liking both of them as potential playmates since you may not feel the same as they do. The other factor is not everyone wants that the same thing. You might not connect and have common interests. Maybe they want to just fuck once and move on. It is where the lifestyle also can be frustrating since there is no set guidelines.

We have been with a few couples and the majority have been friends first. There have been a few missteps along the way much like growing pains. Maybe we weren’t clear from the beginning. Or the couple realized that the lifestyle is not for them. Mistakes that you make help to flesh out wants and desires and clears up any gray area, or even exposes things that you didn’t consider.  Either way we have found a few couples that we have connected with and for that I am extremely grateful.

Currently we have our long time couple, which has become poly, and a couple others that we consider close friends that we see. With having busy schedules it doesn’t make meeting in person always regular but we do try to make time to see each couple in person.  On Twitter we also have other couples that I would love to meet. I am doubtful that our twitter friends would evolve into a naughty fun but regardless we still have good friends who understand the lifestyle.  It is liberating that you don’t have to hide anything when you are with friends who are in the loop.

Vanilla parties can also be fun if you have a couples that are in the lifestyle.  Being the only swinger couple there can be a bit frustrating since you have to really behave.  If with another couple that you know it can be a lot of fun.  The teasing, flash of pussy naked under a dress, or the conversation that could degrade into areas that the vanillas are not aware of makes for fun times.  The drawback is that you have to be reserved.  With alcohol involved it sometimes makes it very hard to stay on track.  Pulling a woman into a isolated area and have her suck you cock would be so hot.  Having a vanilla friend catch you,and it is not your wife would be hard to explain.  Behaving within the vanilla rules can be frustrating but can also enhance the teasing knowing that you can’t get caught.

Without a doubt it is when you are at a party and everyone is in or knows of the lifestyle makes for an amazing night.  The few times we have encountered this has been, well erotic.  Flirting, teasing, conversations and behaviour is so much more relaxed and stress free.  You can be yourself, kiss who you want without being judged.  Or maybe a cock pops free and a couple of girls just start sucking on it.  We have not degraded past that point, well once but that is another story I am working on, but it wouldn’t surprise me that it will happen sooner or later.

This is why we have the friends first and sex later theory.  It is very hard to find and more likely you will run into road blocks or missteps like we did.  Just remember to ensure that you stay within your rules that out outlined.  When you do find that couple though it it is exhilarating.  And if you have more luck in finding like minded couples you will be surprised on how great an evening can be without an orgy, sex, and just hot steamy conversations.  Well, yes an orgy would be a grand send off but you get my point.  Good friends with good drink is always a bonus.  Having the lifestyle included just makes for a potential “happy ending”.