Dating for two or more

One very important factor you realize while in the lifestyle is that when you are married you are now dating for two.  What I mean by this is that when you were younger and single you didn’t worry about anyone else but yourself.  If you had a lucky break you would just go out and meet the person at your convenience.  You didn’t have any responsibility except to yourself.

Now being married you have to communicate everything.   Everything involves the two of you and because of this it makes things more complicated in the dating world.  When doing the swinging lifestyle it is not as bad, although meeting a compatible couple is not easy either.  When trying to find singles, well then it becomes almost near impossible.  This also means that if the person you are interested in is not liked by your partner then the likely hood of the relationship continuing is unlikely.

Granted this is also not the normal relationship that most couples have either.  Swinging is usually in a group environment, although there are the ones that do have the lucky girl or guy to join their bed.  The couple still has to agree on who joins their bed.  Swinging has many different levels and threesomes are one of those that sometimes feels more right to a couple.

For ourselves we have been fairly lucky when we have agreed on the majority of the couples we have meet.  Granted we might have agreed to couples that we shouldn’t have engaged with but for the most part we have been fortunate.  Every couple that we have met has given us insight into both ourselves along with the couple we talk too at the beginning.  Seeing how the other couple communicates gives us feedback on if we are doing enough as well.  And if the couple is not communicating that also shows us any warnings signs or things to be wary of.  It is surprising how much information you can gather from a few minute conversation on if the couple communicates clearly or not.

As you can see the word communicate is clearly mentioned numerous times.  Without this the couple will not survive the lifestyle, let along could risk their marriage.  Not telling you partner what you are feeling or thinking runs the risk of assumptions being made.  Before we opened up we had a routine, and with that routine assumptions were made.  It wasn’t until we opened up and started to communicate that we realized how much we took each other for granted.

So be prepared to talk a lot about yourselves and other couples.  Yes other couples.  You will be discussing them as much as you discuss yourself.  Why you ask?  Well you will be discussing on how you like them.  What you like about them.  What or how far you would go with them if opportunity existed.  Everything relating to the lifestyle you will be discussing with your partner towards yourselves and others.  This ensures that there are no surprises since in the lifestyle surprises are not always good.

And this same communication applies to singles as well.  Both of you need to respect them along with having a comfort level.  Maybe your partner is not playing with the single but you still need to respect your partners thoughts and feelings.  It is something that you wouldn’t’ think about when you are single and dating.  It IS something you need to think about when you are in the lifestyle.  It is one of the hardest things to remember to do.  I am constantly reminding myself to check in with my wife in regards to this and singles.