Culture Shock

In our culture the lifestyle is not something that is understood or respected.  One reason why we don’t promote it freely.  We don’t hide it, if you ask we will tell you but we also don’t flaunt it.  We respect other peoples opinions and because of that we keep this part of lives private from most people.

What I have seen in the past few months, and over the couple of years swinging, is that different cultures have different opinions on relationships.  When we first started swinging we ran into our first couple that appeared to have the culture impact the dynamics.  Things were going great, but after a few weeks on vacation with their family back home something happened and because of that things didn’t progress further.   Each culture has their own beliefs and dynamics and if you are unaware of those then it could hamper or even impact the relationship that you are trying to build with the couple.

I also know of another girl that is dating someone of a different background.  The differences on how each culture behaves with their family is something we sometimes take for granted.  We have talked on and off about the concerns or questions regarding the culture and how she feels.  Mostly she was over reacting but still the culture impacted her perception and with that it caused concerns where there probably isn’t any.  As I mentioned before, things that you expect to be normal for you may not be so for the other partner or couple.

Recently I have talked to a woman with a different culture.  She is actually overseas and will be moving to Canada in the near future.  We got along well and chatted for a while a couple of times.  One thing that came up a few times was my lifestyle, since she was battling in trying to understand it.  With her background I can understand why she was having issues, and unfortunately we have not talked since I outlined again the dynamics.  What I failed to consider was how their culture perceived relationships.  If someone from another country has different perceptions you need to understand that.  For myself I forgot that and because of it I might have offended the woman based on my lifestyle.  There is also the fact that she might not have been able to ever understand, or looking for something different.  I do feel that a combination of the two is a factor, but like I mentioned culture can have a big impact in perceiving the lifestyle.

The lifestyle is not for everyone which I have mentioned to friends and on this site.  Not everyone can grasp the dynamics.  And it is also a lot of work, which is a bit ironic since marriage is a lot of work too.  When talking to new couples or singles, make sure to realize the background and if there could be a conflict of beliefs.  It will advert some awkward discussions later which could end the relationship before it even has a chance to grow.  Now I need to look for another new girl to talk too.  Only took me six months to find the last one, guess I have to wait a while.