All nice guys…

I am too nice.  Simple statement that seems to have followed me my whole life.  You see when I was younger I always wanted to help.  Giving rides or helping friends out usually got me friends, but didn’t help me get laid.  Why?  I was used, cute girl giving you that simple smile or making friendship with you only to use you for what you can offer.  And it wasn’t sex.  

My job is the same, I help people.  It is in my nature.  Now after 15 years of doing this I have learned a lot and don’t take most crap like I used too.  I still go out of my way to help people who deserve it, but I also spot the users a lot faster.  Unless I am using them.  😉

In the lifestyle, being nice is a great plus.  Also has it down falls too.  Much like every movie with the kid liking someone but not seeing the other girls hitting on them, well that is me.  One reason why I can’t really watch those movies since it hits home to what I was like through my teen years.  I don’t have the problem now, although I don’t really have woman hitting on me now.  And we won’t discuss college, I came into my own then and learned more about woman too.

Recently it was stated to me that “All than nice guys must be polyamorous.”  I paused for a second and thought about that statement.  The lifestyle commands respect, since everyone is there to have fun with no pressure and drama.  There are still jerks out there, but they are usually very obvious.  I clarified that statement and stated that yes I suspect a majority of the men in the lifestyle are nice, but like every situation that is not always the case.  Along with swinging, you can find some rotten apples in the tree among the blossoming fruit.  You just have to be aware that most couples or singles in the lifestyle are nice, respectable people.  Work from that assumption and if you see any concerns then re-evaluate.  Most times a simple conversation and even a meet and greet can qualify if the person is worth continuing the friendship.  Sounds simple but so far has worked for us.

And this also carries over to me and dating sites.  I am to nice.  I can’t use pick up lines since I am not that type of guy.  Let alone I am not great at opening comments.  Trying to be unique with each message takes some effort, and it feels like it is wasted when the woman ignores it.  Even had some woman say thanks for the message, and you are nice, but I am not interested.  Thanks, but sometimes being ignored would almost be better since I already know I am nice.  Guess I can’t have it both ways.

Will I change, no.  Not in me to be a dirty pig and treat woman like shit.  Heck, I can’t even hurt woman, even when they want me to use paddles and such on them to receive mild pain.  So will I continue to finish last?  Who knows.  I have been fortunate that the woman who actually get to know me are very surprised by how approachable I am.  How I don’t push boundaries right away and respect them.  And if the cloths come off, well then that is different.

And the next question is how did this come up?  Ah, lets just say that I am currently writing a blog post on who asked this question, so it will clear up how it came to light this statement of “Nice guys finish last.”  And no not cumming last, get your mind out of the gutter.  I have been told this by most of the woman I am engaged with, so it has been on my mind for a while now.  I am just glad that I have the time to write it, since it seems everyone is on a writing kick and I have had a few ideas bouncing around in my head for a while now.  After my trip, I am settled back in and have a few free moments to get them out now.