50 Shades of voices

I have read the book and the writing was horrible. After seeing the movie I found I liked it better. Maybe because of the lack of suffering such a badly written book. I couldn’t even continue reading the second (although I am now considering it).  I did discover one thing that did surprise me.

Control. Yes I do like it in the bedroom.

I like to order and control the woman. Direct her to doing things to me or ordering her to do things that benefit her. I was surprised watching the movie and getting flashbacks to when I was younger and subtle things I did back then. I didn’t know it then but I was controlling.

And now with the lifestyle I have found I start to do control a bit more.  Not all the time, or even always in the bedroom.  I had my poly wife go silent when I told her to be quiet during a social gathering. The reaction to the command was surprising.  Her face become compliacent.  It felt great but also surprised me a bit. I didn’t know I had that much control over her. My voice, as they have both told me, is something that turns them on in the bedroom. I have tried different things with both of them but now I feel I want to see what else I can do.

I guess it comes from the fact of control and obedience. When you tell your child to do something you are happy when they listen and obey. Well with a sub this has the same implications. At least by voice I have found. Telling them they can’t have something drives them crazy, at least for the woman I know. They are givers and love to please. Rejecting that option puts them into a spin. Drives them a little batty. This is where I am starting to enjoy the challenge of making them comply.

Don’t get me wrong there are times I don’t want to have it. I enjoy it just as much to be ravished by a woman. And when I was with my wife for the first 10 years I wished for it. Now I feel that I prefer to be the one in control. There is something magical when controlling another person, feels like a puppet on strings. Deciding on what they can do or how they can act. Now I haven’t gone into a lot of areas of control with my poly wives. Heck I haven’t even done anything with my fwb towards this. Then again I rarely see them for sex so not like I have time to explore that either.

My mind now has opened to other avenues that I could do. Funny how reading a book and then seeing the movie has made some things clearer. You would think the book would help. It was so poorly written that it didn’t really capture it properly. The movie, as much as it is critically loathed by some woman, does in a few ways.

I read a lot of harsh criticism about the relationship and how wrong it is. And if I didn’t have any insight into bdsm I could see why the fallout for some people has been so strong.

What they don’t realize, and it was clear to me in the movie is that the sub has the power. More so than you would think.  They control how far it will go in relation to the act being performed. The contract that is discussed through out the movie is similar to the verbal discussions that the dom/sub have. They each know there limits and respect them. That is the whole point of the contract. This is fantasy for the book but it could be done just as easily with dom/sub if they want too.  If you also think about it, the lifestyle is similar to this as well. We don’t have contract but we do discuss boundaries. Rules and hard limits. We cover as much as we can predict and if something is not covered we discuss it.

With that said I do not foresee me going into the bdsm word. At least not to the degree my wives would consider. Verbally is my focus at the moment. It might be something subtle or maybe even more lengthy say over a day. Regardless I think I need to try experiment with control. Who knows maybe it might expand with other woman too.

For those of you who have not read the book or seen the movie keep in mind that it is fantasy. The male is rich so nothing is beyond reach for him. In reality this would not be practical but the rules and principles are basically the same. 

For more information I would suggest googling more about bdsm and dom/sub relationships. It is very extensive on the different levels and it would give some insight into the world that caters to the more kinky side of things.

With that said I have two wives that are wondering what is going through my devious mind. And probably getting wet at the thought of it. Along with my fwb who also read my blog. Time will tell.