What is a slut?

It is funny how old habits come back to us from our younger days.  For the nth time in the past few weeks I have heard the word slut used in conversation.  This is something that never bothered me, although male slut is not common to hear.  And honestly, I never thought any different of a woman who was called that.  Why?  

Being sexually active is her choice, much like men being sexually active.  If you are enjoy sex, is it the ones that aren’t getting jealous?  Or maybe they are just not getting the right kind of sex, either way I have looked up the definition to see what it is.

Dictionary Definition: A person considered to be sexually promiscuous.

Okay, so I laughed when I saw the same description on two different reputable dictionary websites.  (who has books now a days).  Why do you ask?  That definition covers every human being.  So I went a little further and expanded on promiscuous.

Dictionary Definition: Having casual sexual relations frequently with different partners; indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.

Well that is a mouth full.  And also is a little more defined on context.  So if we now combine those too, then basically it is saying that a slut is a person who CONSIDERED to be having causal sexual relations frequently with different partners.  Now I don’t know about you, but for the majority of the population they would be considered a slut.  At least by context.  I could do more research and see how many partners average people have sex with but that is also based on the pool of the survey.  This is where I have a point of contention.  What is the number of different partners that qualifies this statement?  And what is the time frame for the frequency?  Each person would have their own idea, so in fairness this statement is not fair to be used in the definition.  You can’t qualify either the number of partners or frequency to make an accurate statement against someone.

So lets look at the alternative description:  indiscriminate in the choice of sexual partners.  This has a bit more weight to it, since the key word is INDISCRIMINATE.  With this context it is not based on a numerical value, but more on randomness.  Not caring on who in some sense they are with, as long as it is sex.  Since this statement is not based on an numerical value, then we will use this as our definition.  So our definition for slut is : a person who is indiscriminate with their choice of sexual partner.  Now that we have that, I can apply it in context to the woman who have mentioned it.

Every woman that I have talked to, has at some point mentioned this.  I think because they want to quantify what they have been doing.  This bothers me a bit, in the sense that if you are safe and enjoying yourself, why worry about it.  With the definition that we have, it is pretty obvious that unless you are picking up random men that you don’t know and fucking them it would fall within the definition.  Since the woman that I have met have taken time to get to know me, along with other men then it falls outside of the definition.

Now you are going to argue what defines “getting to know someone”.  I could go argue what this is, but in all fairness I think it is simple.  Having a conversation with someone that goes beyond the opening line, a few drinks and then sex is not getting to know someone.  You can have an amazing night of talking to someone all evening and then having sex.  It really is on the context on the getting to know someone, and with that I leave it up to you to decide.  I can only do so much in a short blog post and if you want me to pursue further on this definition, let me know in the comments.

As it stands, not one woman that I know or have been with are sluts.  They are in fact very generous, thoughtful and sexual creatures who like myself enjoy each others company.  And to be fair, all of my FWB I have been with sexually once, maybe twice with a few over the past few years.  So not like I have seeing them all the time and fucking.  The reason I am saying this is when I am asked how many, it sounds like a lot.  Which goes back to the first definition that we excluded where numeric value is considered.  This is why it is not fair to use that since each person in their own mind has what they considered to be that magic number.  And I doubt it is the same for everyone.

So there you have it, a break down on a word that I have heard since high school.  Something that I never considered bad, but for woman always thought it haunted them at times.  Don’t think about it.  Being sexually active is nothing to be ashamed of.  Be safe and make smart decisions.  Being sexual is as natural as the air we breath.  It is in our nature so why fight it?

4 thoughts on “What is a slut?”

  1. Being in late 40’s in the last three years I have only begun to understand that my sexuality is mine, and what I do with it is not necessarily got anything to do with anyone else, or society’s mores.. the roadblock for me always was around what had been culturally pounded in to me, (lol) good girls don’t, bad girls do… I love sex, more now than ever, I havnt lost my mind. I think I just found it…

    1. And I agree. Society is changing and how we were brought up with certain perceptions can linger into our adult lives. I am glad you have found yourself sexually. It is an enlightening experience that I have seen my wife go through over past few years.

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