I wouldn’t have expected to have two wives. Didn’t expect it would also be three years into the relationship and it feels more like we have been married for longer. Having two wives is a lot of work. Balancing emotions, needs along with two very different personalities can be draining. Plus the other relationships that I have also take energy. You can see why I am tired now.
This weekend we celebrated our three years. Nothing fancy. Drinks, talk and me being some what social. I didn’t play any xbox like I normally do on my weekends. It was fun and enlightening to have the more normal weekends we did in the early months. We see each other on a regular bases even though we are 500 km away. Most people think we are crazy. Crazy is also having another girlfriend 900 km (but that is another blog post to come).
Where the differences are wide is the kink. I am not kinky, not in the degree the rest of the quad is. So when conversation goes in that direction I am isolated. Confident in my knowledge more now then in the beginning. I am fine with them exploring and getting this need full filled. Myself I have a different fetish and my needs are dealt with outside the quad. In the three years we have all grown in many ways. Identified what we like and don’t like and have meet many other kinksters or swingers. Our kids have grown to know everyone very well and with only some of the kids knowing the true relationship it makes for some fun and sometimes awkward conversations. My kids will eventually know when they are ready and can fully understand. Plus I really don’t want my oldest thinking he can be poly in high school. Not sure how that would go over.
Communication is huge in any relationship. We found this out when we first opened up our marriage with the thought of exploring. It is even more important when you have multiple partners and have to make sure everyone is on the same page. Granted there are days when I don’t feel like sharing or don’t understand why it was needed to be communicated but it is something that I am working on. Nothing is with held and even when I am in those moods it does come out sooner rather then later. Without this the relationships would start to waver and we do not want that.
Not saying the past three years has been easy either. The first year is always the honeymoon year with the following becoming the status quo. Nothing is easy in any relationship. We take a lot of pride on how we have grown and stuck through the tough times. Nothing is easy and the effort we have put into this has matured and grown.
I have no idea where this will go. I didn’t even expect to have this in the first place. I do know that the relationship is as strong as it was when we first met.