So this will obviously get a reaction from the few women that I see. This is something that I have been working on dealing with. I am not kinky, and don’t give a woman pain. I have tried and dabbled when we first entered this world but quickly knew it was not for me.
A few of my women are into kink, including my wife. It has something that has been part of our life but not part of me. I am not able to do any of it after trying multiple different things. Don’t get me wrong, I understand a lot after being in the kink lifestyle by association. Long ago I found out that I could not give pain to any woman. So with that in mind, and then having this whole world opening up to my wife and me it has been a soul searching time for both of us.
Continue reading Bruised and sore
This past weekend we had the yearly birthday party for my buddy. We have known each other since grade school and each year we hang out and party. This year was a bit different since he is bring his wife to join in on the fun. I have known her for just about as long. The issue is that they both know about the lifestyle but really haven’t accepted it.
Actually my buddy was told first and then told his wife, after being told not to tell her. We decide who should be informed based on what we know about them. This didn’t sit well with me but since it was already done there wasn’t much I can do. What really put the nail in the coffin was him seeing me hook up a year ago at his last birthday party. That was where he actually realized it wasn’t words only, but that I was actually able to go and fuck someone else beside my wife. It is one thing to be saying that we do it, but whole different when you actually see it happen. And no he didn’t see me fuck, the windows were fogged up in the car and it was dark out. Since then he shown that he is not as open minded as we thought.
He kept reminding me that his wife is sensitive and to behave. Not like I just whip my clothes off and fuck when women walk into the room. Something that vanilla people seem to have a hard time in understanding. They assume all we do is fuck. Don’t get me wrong there are some in the lifestyle that do, but the majority that we know do not do that. We are friends first. IF we happen to fall into bed great but not like it is mandatory.
We also had my poly wife and her daughter here too. I flirted a bit with her daughter, like I normally do, but she can handle it. Another couple in the lifestyle came over. We also had another vanilla friend show up with his kids. Nothing was done in front of anyone, heck even the flirting was a bit tame this evening.
The night was a blast. Everyone got along very well and after playing cards against humanity I noticed that my buddy is still not as open as he thinks he is. It is funny how playing a game with some words that might make you giggle makes him uncomfortable. We discussed earlier that he was not comfortable watching sense8 either. There is a few gay scenes in there that he stated he fast forward through. Not saying I enjoy watching gay men porn, but the story had this embedded into it, and for myself it made me a bit uncomfortable too but I still watched the show as it was meant to be.
I will say the funniest part of the whole weekend was his “fragile” wife. She was flirting with me the whole weekend. I didn’t return any of it since it wouldn’t have gone over well with him but it was funny that she was the one that would have a hard time and she was the one that was enjoying herself more. He was the one that was a little uptight. Actually my poly wives talked with her for a bit outside about some of the simple topics and she was completely understanding and in agreement. I guess I know where the issue is more then I thought.
It was a great weekend. Everyone had a lot of fun and no drama was created. Mixing the vanilla and the lifestyle can work out to be a lot of fun, you just have to understand who is there. Everyone understood was informed so we kept everything vanilla. Even the vanilla boob cake was a hit. I am hoping that his wife comes down again next year, since maybe we can get him to open up a bit more and not be so uptight as he is. Of course that is Southey year away so I have time to prepare him for it.
It was the first party that I went to after we opened up that I realized how boring vanilla is. To be clear, anyone that is not in the lifestyle is vanilla. Now don’t get me wrong, some of our friends who are vanilla know about us and the lifestyle. The issue is more when you are in a group of people and no one knows. Continue reading Vanilla is plain, boring and needs a pick me up