Illness relationships

Never ever say that you haven’t gotten sick. Seems it will bite you in the ass. Found that out over two weeks ago.

Caught strep throat somehow and luckily didn’t infect anyone I know.That was a fun ten days. Meds finished and then I catch cold.

This is also during a new girl that I have met recently. We have been together twice so far and considering the timing I appreciate her patience. Also impacts my other local girl too. Timing just sucks. One thing that I am very careful is if I’m sick I avoid any contact with anyone including any relationship I’m in. Don’t need to expand the infection let alone get into a loop where we keep getting sick over and over again. Continue reading Illness relationships

Out of arms reach

You can’t chose who you have feelings for.  It happens.  This is something I have gotten used to over the past few years.  The problem is that most women aren’t close by.

So when you have a person who is far away and having a tough time I feel powerless.  I want to help.  Need to help.  That is who I am.  When you can’t do it frustrates me.  Continue reading Out of arms reach

Sex talk

Sex is usually talked about behind closed doors.  Something that is instilled by our parents when we are young.  It is taboo.  Shouldn’t be talked about.  Heck even TV and movies didn’t show anything since it is so bad for you.  Fast forward some years ahead (nice try, birthday is coming up but not going to reveal my age that easy) and the landscape has changed somewhat.  For one, TV has embraced sex.  The regular tv stations are trying to match what the subscription based ones have done for the past few years.  Hard to do since they have had full nudity along with some very graphic sex scenes.  It is a step in the right direction.  Sex is natural.  It happens regardless if we talk about it, show it, or even do it ourselves.

Continue reading Sex talk

Introductions to my wife

Over the years that we have been in the lifestyle (has it been for years already?) I have made a lot of new friends.  Most of these women have met my wife.  As well I have met majority of their spouses.  I don’t think anything of it when introducing my new friends/lovers to my wife.  Something that we have learned is having Krystalla know them in person.  Helps when I am out with them on a date. Continue reading Introductions to my wife

Reflection and moving foward

It is funny how time passes.  The holidays were here and gone.  It went by quickly and even though we didn’t do anything to involved it still flew by.  Now it’s 2016 and the new year has started.  I begin my new job in a few weeks, although I suspect I will be doing training sooner.  Looking forward to the overdue change.  The past year has been tough.  New relationships, loss, frustration and being overwhelmed has been something I am not used too.  I was injured as well and took me out of the gym, which was a routine I sorely miss.

Looking back I think 2015 will be a year that was not about growth but about overcoming.  I had to overcome a lot this past year.  Work, family, and relationships have all come to a head this past year and it took a lot out of me to get through it all.  As we are supposed to tell out spouses everything I feel that I am still hiding in the corner and they are growing.  This is great for them, but for me I am starting to realize how simple I am in most aspects of sex.  Nothing wrong with that either.  Just something that is starting to me make me feel that I am not fully involved.  We had company over for New Years Eve and it is something to watch all the kink talk.  It didn’t do anything for me so I was completely alone during this conversation.  I understand it, which is good.  Just not something that I don’t get off on talking about since I can never do it to a woman.  Of course this is the more extreme with having my wife’s poly husband being a sadist.

This leaves me with a few things that I am looking forward to this year.  My new job for one.  It should challenge me and give me some direction that I haven’t had in sometime.  Secondly is my exercicse program.  I can’t afford the gym right now so I have been working on how I will be working out.  I need to drop the weight after my accident.  If I can do that till I have the funds to do the jiu jitsu again that will help a lot.  Third is the women in my life.  They are important to me and working out how to see them and making time for them is something that I need to focus on as well.  I feel bad about not being able to be free all the time.  Just have to figure out how to balance time with them.  To not feel that I am ignoring them.  And to spend time with them both in the physical and non physical means.

2016 will be a great year.  Positive that the changes that I have gone through in 2015 has made me stronger.  It will be a year of change.  Growth.  Learning from the past year and taking that knowledge to grow and become more of who I really am.  Who is that?  With all the changes from 2015 I feel that I am going to find out more about that.

Last few days went by too quick

Saturday was relaxing considering how tired we were the night before.  I got up with the dogs at my usual time.   We really didn’t do much Saturday.   The quad and Lilly get to know each other better.  Also had the photo shoot that Numbnutts promised.  I didn’t watch much of it but from the pics should look stunning.  I even got to watch her change in front of me.  Had to resist not taking her right there.

We also found out that Chad and Mellisa would be attending the party tonight.   I’m happy that Lilly gets to meet most of my local friends while she is her.  After dinner we then started eyeing the time.  We got a few hands of Cards Against Humanity.  Funny how a raunchy game can make people turn in to silly kids again.  After we finished the game we then got ready for the party. Continue reading Last few days went by too quick

Dating Landscape

So the last new girl that I have met and been with physically is about Feb.  This is a long time for me, since it is one of my little fetishes.  New blood is hard to come by and lately it appears that it will be a while yet.  I have reviewed the dating sites off and on with no regularity.  What I have found is basically, well nothing.  I have sent out a few messages with no responses.  No interest on playing the odds and sending out hundreds of messages in the hopes of getting one back.  Not to mention it is time-consuming and frustrating.

With the recent hack of Ashley Madison it also puts new light on something that I found out a while ago when I did some research on another dating site. Continue reading Dating Landscape

Chicago weekend

There are times when I travel that I wonder if it is real.  After 5 hours I am in a different city, no cell phone and heading off to my girlfriend’s house.  It seems surreal, and even though I was here in January for work I still recall some of the landmarks and roads.  Hard for me to believe that I am actually here.

The trip went by pretty fast to get to her new place.  She moved not to long ago and the new place is nice.  Bigger then her last apartment but cozy.  After meeting the dust mop again and ensuring that he won’t bother us when we are busy together I made the effort to befriend him.  Twenty minutes later he was my new best friend.  He was asking to play with me while we sat on the couch.  Smiling to myself I focused on my girlfriend, Lilly.  Having only spent a weekend in March and a few days in January together, this would be the first time that we are alone together.  It didn’t take long for things to heat up as we started on the couch and then moved to the bedroom.

Over the weekend it was surreal.  Almost had to pinch myself a few times since I had no contact with my family at home.  Cellphones are not cheap when living in Canada and when roaming in US if you don’t buy a package you really can’t afford to use the phone.  I relied on Wifi the whole time, which is fine when we were at the apartment.  When we went out though I was a little lost.  No GPS.  No texting.  No messaging at all.  It was a disconnect that I had to get used to.  Ironically by the time I was back at the airport I was comfortable with not being connected.  I was bored don’t get me wrong, not able to chat and waste the time away, but at least I was not needing that connection.

I meet her friends on Friday, along with her now primary boyfriend.  It was a relaxing evening with idle conversation and laughter.  I think I passed the test with her girlfriend although I really need to ask Lilly to confirm.  Also met her kids in the morning, and unknown to me I passed with flying colors.  Seeing them on skype before I met them in person is not the same thing.  Maybe because it was more real, and not some person on a screen.

Saturday we ventured into Chicago so I could see the city.  When I was here in January I really didn’t have time to do this and it was something that Lilly really wanted me to experience.  It was a lot of fun and after being on a bus tour of the city I think I need to do that for Toronto when I have a chance.  You get more background and history this way and even though I have lived near Toronto most of my adult life I really own know a few primary locations.

It was a long day and we didn’t get back to the apartment until after midnight.  Not really tired but knowing this was my last night there made me a bit sad.  I was hoping to spend the evening naked with her.  Enjoying each other’s company.  Not that we didn’t cuddle and wait at the train station for the couple of hours until the next one arrived but wanted my alone time with her.  I won’t see her until the fall, once we decide on a time frame, and I wanted to make every minute count when I am with her.

The trip to the airport was uneventful.  The line up to go through security was long which gave us a bit more time before she had to leave me.  It was mostly quiet.  Each of us in our own thoughts on things going back to normal.  The weekend went by so fast that before I knew it was time to go home.  Our last hug and kiss was not long enough and the thought on seeing each other was on our minds.  We briefly looked at flights to Toronto to see price point that morning and hopefully things work out that she will be here sometime in the fall.

I have no idea how things will work out in the fall.  There is timing and scheduling issues, not to mention the cost so hopefully we see each other soon.  Hopefully the quad will finally met her since they only have heard about her since January.  It will work out, much like this long distance relationship, it just take effort.

 

 

 

 

Friends First

One of the hardest things to find are friends in the lifestyle.  Oh you can meet people and get along but to have that connection on all levels is unique.  Trust and honesty is also another factor.  We have been fortunate and have met two couples that we connected with.  Actually there was another couple but that is whole different story.  Although the downfall is that they are not close by.  This makes it hard to meet up, even as a group with life and work being priority.  So timing (sounds familiar) is something that seems to be hard to nail down.  Although because we are friends first we still chat on a regular basis so it helps to build the relationship even though we may not see each other in person that often. Continue reading Friends First

Benefits reduced

I always let the woman know that benefits are a bonus.  Sure, I wish it can happen more but timing and life is a factor.  The other side of the coin is how relationships change.  Again I have lost benefits from one of my good friends.  It is funny how things happen and even over the year I have known her I should at least be used to it.  I’m not.  Continue reading Benefits reduced