Out of arms reach

You can’t chose who you have feelings for.  It happens.  This is something I have gotten used to over the past few years.  The problem is that most women aren’t close by.

So when you have a person who is far away and having a tough time I feel powerless.  I want to help.  Need to help.  That is who I am.  When you can’t do it frustrates me.  Continue reading Out of arms reach

Re-Union with Lilly

Funny how distance can make relationships feel like a new experience after many months.  Lily planned to visit with her kids for a Canadian vacation for our second meet up of the year.   Knowing that it will be a challenge to have her alone to spend time together since all our kids will be home.  Normally for any event, I don’t think about it to much.   Have had many disappointments in the past so I try to stay in check up to the day of the event.  But my excitement got higher with each day passing. Continue reading Re-Union with Lilly

Reflection and moving foward

It is funny how time passes.  The holidays were here and gone.  It went by quickly and even though we didn’t do anything to involved it still flew by.  Now it’s 2016 and the new year has started.  I begin my new job in a few weeks, although I suspect I will be doing training sooner.  Looking forward to the overdue change.  The past year has been tough.  New relationships, loss, frustration and being overwhelmed has been something I am not used too.  I was injured as well and took me out of the gym, which was a routine I sorely miss.

Looking back I think 2015 will be a year that was not about growth but about overcoming.  I had to overcome a lot this past year.  Work, family, and relationships have all come to a head this past year and it took a lot out of me to get through it all.  As we are supposed to tell out spouses everything I feel that I am still hiding in the corner and they are growing.  This is great for them, but for me I am starting to realize how simple I am in most aspects of sex.  Nothing wrong with that either.  Just something that is starting to me make me feel that I am not fully involved.  We had company over for New Years Eve and it is something to watch all the kink talk.  It didn’t do anything for me so I was completely alone during this conversation.  I understand it, which is good.  Just not something that I don’t get off on talking about since I can never do it to a woman.  Of course this is the more extreme with having my wife’s poly husband being a sadist.

This leaves me with a few things that I am looking forward to this year.  My new job for one.  It should challenge me and give me some direction that I haven’t had in sometime.  Secondly is my exercicse program.  I can’t afford the gym right now so I have been working on how I will be working out.  I need to drop the weight after my accident.  If I can do that till I have the funds to do the jiu jitsu again that will help a lot.  Third is the women in my life.  They are important to me and working out how to see them and making time for them is something that I need to focus on as well.  I feel bad about not being able to be free all the time.  Just have to figure out how to balance time with them.  To not feel that I am ignoring them.  And to spend time with them both in the physical and non physical means.

2016 will be a great year.  Positive that the changes that I have gone through in 2015 has made me stronger.  It will be a year of change.  Growth.  Learning from the past year and taking that knowledge to grow and become more of who I really am.  Who is that?  With all the changes from 2015 I feel that I am going to find out more about that.

Last few days went by too quick

Saturday was relaxing considering how tired we were the night before.  I got up with the dogs at my usual time.   We really didn’t do much Saturday.   The quad and Lilly get to know each other better.  Also had the photo shoot that Numbnutts promised.  I didn’t watch much of it but from the pics should look stunning.  I even got to watch her change in front of me.  Had to resist not taking her right there.

We also found out that Chad and Mellisa would be attending the party tonight.   I’m happy that Lilly gets to meet most of my local friends while she is her.  After dinner we then started eyeing the time.  We got a few hands of Cards Against Humanity.  Funny how a raunchy game can make people turn in to silly kids again.  After we finished the game we then got ready for the party. Continue reading Last few days went by too quick

Finally together again

Monday morning and I am still tired.  Lilly was here since Thursday evening.  She flew in after a slight delay with the plane being late.  It was an odd feeling going to the airport and not being the one travelling.  Seems that I have travelled more in the past year then the past 10 years.  A big smile appears on her face when she sees me waiting for her.  With a long hug and kiss we headed off.

We covered off how the flight was.  Discussed family and just enjoyed being together again.  My mind was debating a few times if I should pull over to give a proper greeting but with it being later then planned with the delay it would just be easier to wait till we got home.  Unfortunately the construction along the highway almost caused us to be delayed.  Luckily I was one of those guys that rode the lane till I had to merge.  Surprisingly we didn’t have much of a delay, although one guy was a little pissed off that I went around him.  Sorry bud, I am on mission to get home safely and we already are behind by an hour.

Upon arriving Krystalla was up, along with the excited dogs.  Greetings went well considering and once the dogs settled down we had a drink and caught up.  Krystalla and Lilly chatted like long lost friends.  Love my wife for that.  She knows pretty much all my women (although there is one that will be meeting her soon, just matter of timing).  After a few drinks for me and one for the ladies we were off to bed.

Needless to say we were up late.  To be fair we didn’t get back home till late.  Tomorrow I was off and the house to myself since the kids will be in school. Even though we have a full day alone together we made the up for lost time that night.  I giggle to myself as I watch Lilly try to control her volume as we had sex.  It was cute.

On four hours of sleep I got up with the dogs.  Once they had their morning routine completed I headed downstairs with coffee in hand and xbox controller in the other.  Plugged the headset in so not to disturb Lilly.  Unfortunately I should have worn a gag since I was cursing the other players in Halo as I was getting slaughtered.  She heard that part.

I almost cheered when the house became empty.  I was coming in from the garage after receiving a text from Lilly when I stopped dead in my tracks.  She was dressed in lingerie and net stockings with garter belt.  Most of my women know that I am not into clothing, since it seems to come off so quickly, but this caught my eye.  My cock reacted very well to it too.  It didn’t take long to have her downstairs again and back in bed.  The day went by slowly, with talking, sex and more talking.  This was the first day since we originally met back in January were we weren’t on a clock and had things to do.  It was relaxing, and something I think we needed after the previous visits being so chaotic with activities.

I did make a promise to her a while ago.  It was something that she wanted to try, and had worked out a plan over the week regarding on how to make it happen.  It was nothing too complicated.  Leading her downstairs I then asked her to strip.  As she was getting undressed I pulled out the sex swing and got it hooked up.  I notice that to her “undress” means bra and panties on.  I corrected her and said “everything,” she smiled and took the rest of her clothes off.  I then helped her into the swing.  There she was spread eagle with a full view of her pussy, as I pulled out the blindfold from my pocket and put it over her eyes.  Quickly asking about her safe words to make sure I understood to ensure I didn’t do anything to much for her.

Taking the candle out I light it.  Got some of the wax melted and then proceed to apply it very slowly and carefully on her.  She whimpered and moaned when each drop hit her skin.  As more wax melted it then started to drip more then a few drops and she got louder, and asked to have it slower.  Like I can control wax when it drips off the candle.  Doing my best I worked to only let one drop fall.  After covering her body in certain spots I stopped.  I then proceed to fuck her.  The swing allows movement so in reality you don’t have to do as much hip movement, but your arms seem to work more.  She was in heaven as she bounced off my cock and shudder and shake with enjoyment.  I am happy that I had the chance to get to try the wax with her.

The afternoon ended up with the quad meeting and their introductions to Lilly.  Being worried on how Lexxi will be has been on my mind for a while since it is going to be my weekend with Lilly.  This has been communicated to me by Krystalla very clearly.  Conversation flowed easily, and even though I was drained from the past 24 hrs I enjoyed myself.  It wasn’t a late night with Lilly and myself being up so late the night before.  When we crawled into bed we cuddled and fell asleep in each others arms.

 

Door Swinging Open

Open relationship is very different then swinging.  Primarily open relationships is usually alone play and swinging is a group.  The differences in emotions along with the experience can make it difficult for some couples.  For our relationship we started a bit backwards.  We explored the open relationship and then transitioned to swinging based on circumstance.

Continue reading Door Swinging Open

Chicago weekend

There are times when I travel that I wonder if it is real.  After 5 hours I am in a different city, no cell phone and heading off to my girlfriend’s house.  It seems surreal, and even though I was here in January for work I still recall some of the landmarks and roads.  Hard for me to believe that I am actually here.

The trip went by pretty fast to get to her new place.  She moved not to long ago and the new place is nice.  Bigger then her last apartment but cozy.  After meeting the dust mop again and ensuring that he won’t bother us when we are busy together I made the effort to befriend him.  Twenty minutes later he was my new best friend.  He was asking to play with me while we sat on the couch.  Smiling to myself I focused on my girlfriend, Lilly.  Having only spent a weekend in March and a few days in January together, this would be the first time that we are alone together.  It didn’t take long for things to heat up as we started on the couch and then moved to the bedroom.

Over the weekend it was surreal.  Almost had to pinch myself a few times since I had no contact with my family at home.  Cellphones are not cheap when living in Canada and when roaming in US if you don’t buy a package you really can’t afford to use the phone.  I relied on Wifi the whole time, which is fine when we were at the apartment.  When we went out though I was a little lost.  No GPS.  No texting.  No messaging at all.  It was a disconnect that I had to get used to.  Ironically by the time I was back at the airport I was comfortable with not being connected.  I was bored don’t get me wrong, not able to chat and waste the time away, but at least I was not needing that connection.

I meet her friends on Friday, along with her now primary boyfriend.  It was a relaxing evening with idle conversation and laughter.  I think I passed the test with her girlfriend although I really need to ask Lilly to confirm.  Also met her kids in the morning, and unknown to me I passed with flying colors.  Seeing them on skype before I met them in person is not the same thing.  Maybe because it was more real, and not some person on a screen.

Saturday we ventured into Chicago so I could see the city.  When I was here in January I really didn’t have time to do this and it was something that Lilly really wanted me to experience.  It was a lot of fun and after being on a bus tour of the city I think I need to do that for Toronto when I have a chance.  You get more background and history this way and even though I have lived near Toronto most of my adult life I really own know a few primary locations.

It was a long day and we didn’t get back to the apartment until after midnight.  Not really tired but knowing this was my last night there made me a bit sad.  I was hoping to spend the evening naked with her.  Enjoying each other’s company.  Not that we didn’t cuddle and wait at the train station for the couple of hours until the next one arrived but wanted my alone time with her.  I won’t see her until the fall, once we decide on a time frame, and I wanted to make every minute count when I am with her.

The trip to the airport was uneventful.  The line up to go through security was long which gave us a bit more time before she had to leave me.  It was mostly quiet.  Each of us in our own thoughts on things going back to normal.  The weekend went by so fast that before I knew it was time to go home.  Our last hug and kiss was not long enough and the thought on seeing each other was on our minds.  We briefly looked at flights to Toronto to see price point that morning and hopefully things work out that she will be here sometime in the fall.

I have no idea how things will work out in the fall.  There is timing and scheduling issues, not to mention the cost so hopefully we see each other soon.  Hopefully the quad will finally met her since they only have heard about her since January.  It will work out, much like this long distance relationship, it just take effort.

 

 

 

 

Firsts in my mind

We have had a lot of firsts.  We have done orgy, group sex, among other things.  The rule for Krystalla and myself is that we have to have done it first before it can be done with anyone else without each other.  Fair rule since we want to enjoy the experience for the first time together.  We went into this together and it is only fair that we have the experiences shared for the first time too. Continue reading Firsts in my mind

Friends First

One of the hardest things to find are friends in the lifestyle.  Oh you can meet people and get along but to have that connection on all levels is unique.  Trust and honesty is also another factor.  We have been fortunate and have met two couples that we connected with.  Actually there was another couple but that is whole different story.  Although the downfall is that they are not close by.  This makes it hard to meet up, even as a group with life and work being priority.  So timing (sounds familiar) is something that seems to be hard to nail down.  Although because we are friends first we still chat on a regular basis so it helps to build the relationship even though we may not see each other in person that often. Continue reading Friends First