Subject to opinion

For those that know me please understand this is what I perceive.

So trying to find new blood.   Not a lot of options outside of dating sites.   Really hate them since in my previous rants women really seem to be picky.   With that said it also could be related to volume.  Either way it is rare for me to get a response.

I talked to one lady for about a week and a bit.  Talk is over rated.   There was no connection.  I asked a question about her experience and it went well.   Problem is that she didn’t engage.  I don’t do well on one side conversations.  No surprise that she  cut it off today.   I didn’t feel it either but still it has me wondering.   Continue reading Subject to opinion

Dutch Money

One of the biggest things for me of late is going out. With limited funds I find it hard to justify going out on a date. I can’t afford dinner, drinks or movies so coffee has been the default option.  This also compounds trying to meet new people.  Not having funds makes it hard to go out.  One thing that I hate to do is ask the woman if we are going dutch.  Old habits from when I was younger since the man was expected to pay.

Now my running joke, and still is, is that we were paying for sex.  Dinner, movie or any other activity adds up.  Not that I got laid every time I went out.  So it became very expensive.  Paying for the woman since they expect it makes it pretty hard to question since I didn’t want to insult her. Old habits are hard to break and most of the women I have met are closer to my age. Fast forward to now and I still feel that is what is expected.

You also have to understand I don’t like asking for money.  Never have been good at it.  One reason why I sucked at sales.  Regardless coffee is something that is not to bad.  Just not Second Cup, still don’t understand the cost for hot flavored water over $5. So coffee is something that I could buy just not on a regular basis.

So the question is do the ladies expect to have dinner or such bought for them?  Being older I wouldn’t think so, and with some women they also might think that something is expected.  I do not want the woman thinking I am dishing all this money out and expect something after. Although ironically some of the dates it is to see if we are compatible.  So I don’t think the woman would mind if something did happen. It is a subject that I find uncomfortable. Don’t get me wrong if I have money I always try to pay for the woman. And I don’t expect anything in return.

And I also don’t like to owe money. Another old habit from my younger days. When I was younger I always got suckered in to doing favours because of things that were done for me. So owing anyone is something I really try to avoid.  To be fair I understand that it is not expected from our close friends, but it does weigh on my mind.

So after all this rambling I leave it to anyone who reads this post. What is your thoughts on going Dutch? Do you pay for the woman? As a woman do you expect to get everything paid for? And if you do is there any feeling that you owe something back?

Feel free to post in comments. Or contact me directly if you are to shy and I will post on behalf.

Dating Landscape

So the last new girl that I have met and been with physically is about Feb.  This is a long time for me, since it is one of my little fetishes.  New blood is hard to come by and lately it appears that it will be a while yet.  I have reviewed the dating sites off and on with no regularity.  What I have found is basically, well nothing.  I have sent out a few messages with no responses.  No interest on playing the odds and sending out hundreds of messages in the hopes of getting one back.  Not to mention it is time-consuming and frustrating.

With the recent hack of Ashley Madison it also puts new light on something that I found out a while ago when I did some research on another dating site. Continue reading Dating Landscape

Love, Life, and the lifestyle

I haven’t had to explain my situation of late.  When I do the hardest part for people to understand is why?  My girlfriend wrote Why Poly? Why Not? recently regarding this and I would like to expand on it a bit too.  Well more add my two cents about my thoughts and experiences.

Continue reading Love, Life, and the lifestyle

Benefits reduced

I always let the woman know that benefits are a bonus.  Sure, I wish it can happen more but timing and life is a factor.  The other side of the coin is how relationships change.  Again I have lost benefits from one of my good friends.  It is funny how things happen and even over the year I have known her I should at least be used to it.  I’m not.  Continue reading Benefits reduced

Do Not Disturb please?

Being away from home has been challenging. More than that, I also found it hard since I have this King size bed and no one to fill it with me. I told my wife Jane before I left that I would be hunting while away. She wished me luck with a smile and a kiss.

Unfortunately I worked like a dog the first week, by the weekend I was bone tired. Plus I was getting horny. The women I have seen down here were very attractive. Even the dating sites (although they do have a problem with roaming from your home town) had some very interesting people. After a long day I settled into my big lonely bed and searched.

Of the few women I found, one did stand out. Continue reading Do Not Disturb please?

Respect is expected by the woman

For those of you that know me I am a very respectful and patient man.  I always respect the woman’s wishes and because of that I have usually missed golden opportunities.  This was not always the case when I was younger, and just after my college years I went through a selfish phase.  Mostly because of failed relationships, I became the hunter looking for any woman I can fuck.   Continue reading Respect is expected by the woman

NYE and the cumming year

Another year has come and past.  The highs and lows of the past year has been extreme, with many changes to everyone that I have been involved with.  Medical, family, personal and just about any other issue has been felt by all.  If you told me three years ago that I would be leading a double life in that I have a poly wife, a couple of fwb that I see once a quarter if I am lucky, and how my wife has opened up to the BDSM side of things I would have said “You are full of shit!”

I really have not expected how things have evolved this year.  Our quad has started to balance out the past few months. Continue reading NYE and the cumming year

Reflection of four different needs

Our quad has settled into a relationship that has become more like married.  It has almost been two years since we met and things have evolved dramatically.  This past year has been an eye opener for all of us.  Needs and desires for each person is different.  Nothing wrong with that at all unless they are not full filled.  Of late this seems to be a common theme.  Maybe things are becoming to comfortable and we need to shake things up a bit.

Fetishes are not my thing.   Continue reading Reflection of four different needs

Monday Winter Fun

My weekend alone with my poly wife was great.  We relaxed, fucked and talked a lot.  It allowed us to reconnect, since this past year has been a roller coaster, with emotions and some drama.  With the weekend we were able to just be together, no dogs or spouses and because of that I think we connected more than we have been since the spring.  It was great weekend and both wives new I had Monday off.  Fortunately one of the other girls I was talking too was available to come over.

I haven’t had any new meat in a while.  Actually have been dry for past few months, not for lack of trying, so this is the first time in a while that I get to taste and explore some fresh blood.  By chance a woman who has wanted to come for a while is available.  I informed my wives of the plan to fuck her they were actually little excited for me. Not that they aren’t normally, but I always want to make sure they are okay with my encounters. Continue reading Monday Winter Fun