To be fair I use a lot of different terms to make a black and white statement clearer. That is because with the lifestyle there are a lot of gray areas as well. My previous post about Dating & FWB seems to have made a few women comment directly to me. They had an issue with the NSA portion of it and with that I would like to address this in a separate post. I am not defending what I am writing, more to explain the logic behind how I use the terms to define something. Like I said there is no black and white in the lifestyle and for anyone new, using the black and white statements helps to define what I am writing about.
No strings attached (NSA) is a common term for basically a fuck buddy, or possibly a friends with benefits (FWB). There is really no rule book for FWB either, even though everyone has this thought about what it means to them. No rule book means that we take the principle and apply it to ourselves or situation. With the FWB there is a friendship that also means an intimate relationship. Doesn’t mean there aren’t feelings, or even any feelings outside of a good fuck. I used the term NSA to imply that the status of the FWB is just that, friends that might fall into bed together. Doesn’t mean something can’t grow from that. Not like it is planned to happen, learnt from experience here on that, but primarily it begins that way as a simple arrangement of friends and occasional sex.
I don’t get picked up by woman. I want to get to know the woman as well. What I mean is that the classification of a one night stand, fuck buddy, NSA sex or whatever else you want to call it really doesn’t happen to me. Sure I have had one night stands when I was younger, although I might have led on that it would lead to more of a relationship back then, but that was because I was young and didn’t care about feelings. Lots of women hurt me back then so my mentality was I could do the same. Not good, but that is how I become who I am now. More caring and understanding of women.
And to be fair the definition of NSA used to show that an offer or opportunity carries no special conditions or restrictions is how I see most of my relationships begin. Things can change depending on how they evolve but majority of them are based on this principle. None of my woman I treat this way in that sense, but I do not want to become something more that I cannot provide. Especially if the feeling are not mutual. In no way do I want to mislead anyone regarding the situation or arrangement. And if there is a change in the relationship it is usually discussed so that everyone is on the same page. No surprises and being open is so important.
The beauty of the lifestyle is that the interpretation can be so different between everyone. This is good and bad since with the amount of gray area you have to be clear on everything. My previous post made the effort of pigeon holing the terms and definitions. Not something that is easily done, and with the lifestyle there are so many different degrees that it can be seen from a different angle by each and every one of you. In not way is what I wrote the “final answer” but it is something that discuss. This post has generated more discussions between the women I know that I think it helps. It makes them think, evaluate and then come to a decision on how it applies to them and their choices. Without discussion we wouldn’t have come this far in the first place. So feel free to comment and discuss, get it out in the open. I prefer to have open talk about points then someone quietly in the corner not agreeing or seeing it a different way but not bringing it up.
There is no right or wrong in this but there can be a common ground to discuss it. Don’t be shy, type away below in the comments. You might be surprised on what you get back and who knows you might make things more clear on the perspective that you have chosen.