When I was younger I frequented the local strip clubs. Grand illusions that maybe one them hot chicks would take an interest in me beyond just making a few dollars. Of course it never happened and you always come out poorer. One thing that I did notice one night in a club which didn’t make much sense to me until I entered into the lifestyle. It happened one night when I was visiting a friend and went club hopping. Been to this club a couple of times and I enjoy the atmosphere. One thing different was there were a few bachelor parties going on.
At one point they had the grooms men on stage, three of them, sitting on chairs. They then we’re told they had to lap dance for the ladies. It was funny to watch until the end of it when the ladies pulled down there pants. Never seen that happen before. Little while later a stripper came on stage tossing around a beach ball. It ended up being stuck on one of the chairs of stage and she motioned someone to get it.
Me being the helping hand went over and got it for her. As I handed the ball to her she grabbed my hand and pulled me up on stage. Next thing I knew my pants were at my ankles and she said lie down. With my underwear still on I proceed to lay on the stage. She then attempted to rip my underwear off. Fortunately for me they were stronger than her and survived. She then bounced on my hard cock for a few mins than let me get off the stage to try to regain my dignity. During this on stage experience I had a full bladder and really couldn’t enjoy it as much as I wanted. Carrying my clothes back to my table my friends were howling. They ribbed me for that the rest of the night. Considering that I was embarrassed my cock was wide awake even with a full bladder.
Later on the evening more guys were dragged on stage. One guy was naked and was in the shower area with this hot chick bumping up against his cock. His cock was limp with no erection at all. Thought it was weird that he was limp will this girl was grinding her pussy into it. So with all the guys in the room watching this guy couldn’t wake his cock up. I even mentioned to my friends that here is this hot chick in a shower and he can’t get it up.
Fast forward to now and I have seen the same thing happen. In a group setting with more men in the room it seems some men can’t perform. Well at least not get hard. Alone the guy has no other competition and his junk performs normally. Add another cock or more and who knows if it will wake up.
I mention competition above since to some men in their mind it kind of is. Even if they don’t think it subconsciously it is happening. Granted if the arousal is high enough then it shouldn’t matter. There are other circumstances as well but adding cocks to the room is a factor. Most times the men are worried for superficial reasons. Of course once you mind goes from arousal to wake the fuck up things can go downhill from there.
Survival of the species is always the strongest male. Animals have numerous way to ensure that this happens. So why would humans be any different? One cock with lots of females still had limitations due to amount of time you can pop but if you have one female with lots of cock surrounding it wouldn’t the strongest win out? The one that is hard would be preferred since no female would try a soft cock.
I am no expect in regards to why this happens and only propose my thoughts toward this from observations. Mainly because I have experienced it myself. And for the past two years have been wondering why it happens. Any man can say not being able to get it up can make you feel less like a man. And can get very embarrassing. Of course having a woman question why it is not hard doesn’t help either (hint: do not ask why it is not hard woman. It doesn’t make it harder and the man will most likely never get it up then)
Now don’t get me wrong I do look at other cocks when in the room. No I don’t stare but just a quick glance. Mainly to see if it is bigger. Yes I know size doesn’t matter but you still want to know. Not saying I’m above or below average but if your wife is getting a bigger cock I sure want to know. And yes if the cock is bigger it does have a mental affect on you. Equally the same if it is smaller. This affects performance and can be a surprise to most men the first time you try group play. Being in a room full of naked woman and men and you manhood is sitting there going “nope, not coming out to play, to shy” can cause man to second guess himself.
I learnt, more like reminded, that you are there to please the woman. The tool so to speak. If you can’t use one part you still have other parts to do the work. And if you stop thinking about the missing hard on surprising it will come back to you. To please the sexual creature that is woman can be done in numerous ways. Don’t get hung up on the missing hard on. Over thinking that is a sure sign that it will take longer for you to get comfortable in group play.
When you are younger the hard on had mind of its own. And happened when ever and always seem ready when needed. Ageing has an affect and when things don’t seem the same from when you are twenty you start to think. Then over think to the point that you can almost create more of a block. You start to wonder what is wrong. Second guessing why it won’t just perform on queue like the younger days. Then reminding yourself that you aren’t young anymore. The key to is that you have to stop thinking about it. You never did when you were younger, it just sprang to life. So why should you force yourself to think it awake. Your dick is not a trick you cannot command on queue. It requires stimulation of both body and mind and if your mind is overly focused on waking it up well it most likely won’t.
So to the new swingers out there remember that you are there to service the woman in any way they seem fit. And if you do have a performance issue practise with your tongue and fingers and forget about your cock. Heck bring toys into your play if your hands get tired. Just stop thinking about where the hardon went. It has its own way of appearing and thinking about it will not help bring it back. Pleasing the woman and making her cum over and over again with other tools will encourage it to come out and play. Trust me, from my own expereince it wants to play but it wants to play on its terms