You AREN’T what you read!

Having a chat with a few guys at work and some how spam mail came up. As we talked I stated if I was to believe everything that I was sent then I would be a messed up guy. With that I thought it would be a good post just to see how screwed up I would be. This content is based on one of my email addresses that receives on average about 100 emails a day of spam and junk mail. So lets get to it.
Continue reading You AREN’T what you read!

Do you want to go for drinks?

Simple question with so many different layers.  I know for myself that if I ask a woman out for drinks it means that I am interested.  At least if I was single that is what it meant. Doesn’t mean I am getting sex. Heck I usually can’t tell if the woman is even interested.  Going out for drinks is a way for an informal date, to get to know the other person.  That is my perspective on it.  By the way since I have an open relationship this thought process would still stand.  Difference for me is that I don’t expect to get it unless the woman offers.

This has come up because of a good friend of mine is not having much luck of late.  The dates that she has gone on have become awkward with the man thinking that they are going to get some.  Now alcohol can be a factor in this.  Casual flirting and small talk may be another.  The concern she has is that it seems that it all men thing that going for drinks will lead to sex.  She has made it clear to the man that it is just for drinks but they still assume as evening goes on that more could happen.  Some of these men are even married!

Normally drinks is a get to know the person, and who knows, enough alcohol and a few bad decisions and things could happen that way.  I am not saying that is right or that all man/woman think along the same lines.  What I have for this is a more a question to the public.

In the comments below please let me here you thoughts.  If you were asked out for drinks, as just the two of you, what is your expectations?  What do you think at the beginning of the night and does your stance change as the evening goes on?  For those of you who follow me via other media please comment on this blog so that all can see.  If not then only I will see it and for this blog I would hope that we can get some discussion points regarding the “going for drinks” and the assumptions men or even woman make.

Dating vs FWB

Interesting question was raised during a conversation this week and it got me thinking.  Dating and Friends with benefit (FWB) are similar and also not at the same time.  Both could be considering the same with the major exception that Dating is more of a commitment.  It could have different degrees of that, compared to FWB where there really is a no strings attached (NSA) belief.

The first thing is to get a definition of both and the see how they compare.  Ironically I would think that this is going to be easy to find.  Actually it was a bit harder to do for on than the other.  So lets begin with dating which after some quick research I come up with this:  to do an activity with someone you have might have a romantic relationship.  This was a bit to vague from the dictionary so I did more searching and found this which seems to be a bit more accurate: A form of romantic courtship typically between two individuals with the aim of assessing the other’s suitability as a partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The result of dating may at any time lead to friendship, any level of intimate relationship, marriage, or no relation.  So common theme is that dating is between two people who could or could not have romantic relationship.

The FWB definition is: a friend with whom one has occasional sexual relations, without commitment or dating arrangement.  This is probably the best description that I have seen.  It is states that occasional sexual relations with NSA.  The key to this is that there is no commitment, just friends that enjoy each others company that may have sex.  Nothing complicated.  Normally if feelings start to become apparent the relationship is broken off.  Either way it is way to have sex with nothing more than that.  I guess the slang to this would be fuck buddy which is a person with whom another person has a relationship based on casual sex only.  The principle is the same, no strings and just sex.  Can be stopped at any time for any reason with no feelings involved.

Primarily the difference is regard to the end goal where one is looking for commitment or long-term relationship and the other is for pleasure and nothing more.  Both can have pleasure and fun, but dating is focused on the couple and potentially if there is something more for long-term.  Granted you can date and have sex and then break up, but most times that involves drama and usually complications.  FWB go in knowing that there is no commitment.  Straight forward that sex is on the table and that there is nothing expected beyond that.  So benefits of FWB is no drama, or less likely  compared to the breakup when dating and the complications that it entails from it.

Don’t get me wrong both have some major excitement.  The relationship energy from dating is usually a high and carries on for a period of time.  It is a drug, and you can’t get enough of it being around them all the time.  This usually wears off and when it does it can make the blinders that could have been on come off.  I have dated numerous times when younger and it is exhilarating.  Even the few times that we have met new couples it is the same feeling.  This energy can be a great catalyst but it also can cause problems if you are not aware.  Things that you might have picked up early could be ignored because of the excitement which means things might not workout once the energy settles down.

FWB can have this same type of energy to a degree, although the FRIENDS FIRST is usually why it is not at the same level.  Most times the BENEFITS are not seen right away, or come up due to convenience.  And I refer to the sexual relations and not the convenience of where and when.  NSA sex is great since it gives the freedom of both partners getting the benefit without any complications.  Of course it really depends on the people involved but from my experience, and the clear understanding of NSA, it works very well.  The few relationships that I have like this that have ended have not been complicated and with some we are still good friends.  Again timing, distance, and other factors can change the relationship to where it can not be the same.  This can apply to dating as well but most cases those involved that way will try to make it work depending on what is happening.  With NSA there is no expectations or commitment.  Simple and elegant.

The other question that has been asked as well is the FWB and how you don’t get feelings.  Well for me I always have feelings.  I care for all my women that I am involved with.  The difference for me is that I already have my wife, my primary if we want to classify, and she will always come first.  The other girls I am involved with I have feelings of different levels but I do care for all of them.  Even the ones that are just friends (so far).  That is in my nature and will never change.  With FWB I fully understand that it is an arrangement of convenience.  Doesn’t mean I don’t get a little hurt when sex is off the table, but doesn’t mean I go all drama queen either.  Sex is just that, sex.  Fun.  We both get off, well the woman way more than me 99% of the time, and I have no regrets or complaints.

I won’t get into the polyamory my in this article since it is something that will take a whole lot more to explain and go through.  I do have a poly wife along with another woman who I would classify as poly.  Again something that will take a whole lot more time to explain so that will be another blog post to go over it again.

I really hope this helps qualify the differences, at least from my point of view.  There is a fine line between both but the primary difference is the no strings attached (NSA) for friends with benefits (FWB).  This allows the freedom of no commitment between the couple and with this ensures that they can have a healthy sex life with limited concerns of the relationship.  For those that want this type of relationship it is the one that has the minimum of risks.

Gigalo and the act

Well my  mind wanders when I drive.  And I have been driving a lot to work of late.  With this it usually falls to three categories.  Women, work, and sex.  Recently we have been hit with number of unexpected bills and has put a strain on our cash flow.  Nothing that we can’t get out of but it does make things more frustrating.  No lotto win this past weekend so it leaves it to wait for next paycheck or raise some cash.  My thoughts wandered again to gigalo and what I would charge for sex.  No idea why this popped into my head, but it did.  Then a weird revelation came to me.

Prostitution has been around since men and woman realized what sex is.  Cash, services or goods were exchanged at times for the act.  Now the act usually has a specific charge.  Oral or sex is the two common ones with the more kinky on occasion.  Now with a man having a hooker in bed for sex, it is kind of obvious when he finished.  Even for oral it is pretty clear.  Not something you can hide easily.  I would assume the act would be charged since paying by the hour and only lasting 15 mins is kind of counter productive.  Then again, maybe I am wrong.  For sake of argument, and for humor sake, lets say it is by the act.  When he pops the act is done and the transaction closed.  Here is my question if the roles were reversed.

Gigalo would charge lets say $200 for sex.  Now since we have a limited amount of “pops” and we also can’t go all night I am curious on how this would be qualified.  Couldn’t be for when the woman has an orgasm since some can’t even have one during sex.  Others can have one every five minutes.  So for this activity would it have to be for an hour, half an hour, by the actual act until the mom pops?  Guess that would be for oral too.  If the woman can’t cum from oral would you be doing oral til she cums?  Would get lock-jaw at some point.

This leaves the argument that it would be a time amount.  Krystalla said that is only thing that makes sense since as I pointed out the act and depending on the partners can orgasm quite differently.  I tried to argue with this logic but it is sound.  Time would be a factor for the act.  The only question would be the time for the man’s performance.  And we all know how that can be up and down, no pun intended, well maybe a little.

And I haven’t even gotten into the BDSM acts that some people pay for.  Regardless that would be a time thing and even with what I know wouldn’t be cheap since some sessions can go on for hours.  Hmm, maybe I need to look at BDSM more now.

My mind is a bit twisted and debates on these ideas in my head.  Bouncing back queries and arguments much like two lawyers in a court room does.  Trying to get the point across with the most logical explanation.  I have never had a hooker, and only ever had a lap dance once which is a whole other story.  Either way I am curious on what your thoughts are?  And also for fun sake what would you charge for an act?  Lets have some fun and dream up how we can sell our talent for a change.  Everyone is good at something so lets see what we think about it and how we could charge for it?  Please leave all thoughts in the comments below.

Flashback – Slut and what it means

I am very proud of this article.  Only because I actually had to do some research and review information to make an inform decision.  A few of the girls I talked to started to state that they were a slut.  I have never considered any women a slut even when I was younger.  If the woman likes to fuck so be it.  And if it with multiple guys then all the best to her.

So since the few women in my life think that this was what they are, I decided to review the definition and then break it down as to how I interpret it.  I had a lot of fun writing this, since it let me do something different.  I have been meaning to do more definitions, just haven’t really had anything that has come up to make me want to do it.  Maybe something will inspire me soon.

Here is the article.  I hope you enjoy it.

>>>>>>>>>>>> Slut – a definition

Flashback – Fantasy encounter

I have had a few thoughts on being picked up.  Something that really doesn’t happen to me.  One evening at work there was a function and walking around then I noticed a few attractive ladies.  Knowing that there would be no way that I could actually have time to talk or meet them, I decided to put it into writing.  What would happen if one of these ladies wanted to met me?  How could it happen and how?  So I started the story of BOOST.  It is over FIVE parts but I still have to go back and see about maybe adding some more to it.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> BOOST

Flashback – Separation was hard

This was my first work trip that I ever had back in January of this year.  Also it was the first time that I have been away from my wife for more than a few days.  After 5 days, working insane hours, I was alone in my room.  I really didn’t expect the separation to be a factor but it was.  Granted there was other things, her date among some of my fwb wanting me around that weekend that also made me a bit down.  Luckily I wasn’t to drunk since I really could have gotten mushy on this post.  Anyways, here is my thoughts on being away while my family and close friends were home.

>>>>>>>> Alone with my thoughts

 

Flashback – long time cumming

I really enjoyed this next post. The delay in getting it written was more in trying to get it right.  It was my first time with my one FWB that I have known for close to two years.  Timing it just happened to work out that I had the house to myself.  We have met for coffees over the time we have talked with some groping and kissing.  I had no idea on what to expect, which might be why this evening was so special on  how it turned out.

This is erotica so be prepared when you read it, no I don’t mean get your toys out.  Of course if you then enjoy!

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>  Directions to sex

Flashback – Attention is important

Everyone loves attention.  For me it is also important since I had some difficulties when growing up and not noticed.  Not going to go into details here, but it is something that I notice has a direct affect on me.  This article was written regarding the power of attention and how a man changes because of it.  This was back when I was on my highs and lows with the few girls I was talking too.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Attention