Walk of shame shouldn’t exist

I have chatted with a girl after we had casual encounter recently. We didn’t have sex but we did fool around. What I found out was she felt the walk of shame. For me I have never really had that issue. I might have some regrets on what I didn’t get a chance to try but for some woman there is some guilt.

Now this really depends on their personality or what transpired that evening from my point of view. I have had a few woman feel shame or guilt after and I didn’t really have an answer to why they felt this way.  I have been thinking about this more of late only because I want the woman to feel happy about what happen.  Why should you be embarrassed of having sex?

When we are younger and do these kind of last minute hook up some woman get labelled. This was pretty standard high school mentality. Being older I would think that being branded those names doesn’t exist.  I guess I was wrong since one woman has mentioned that she worries on being labelled after the encounter. I don’t believe that it will happen but I can’t say for sure.

Now being older I have a better understanding compared to high school. High school always had the labels for sluts and the easy girls. Not that I ever had any luck with those, I earned my pussy the hard way by actually dating them. I really do not see this attitude carry over to adults.

I don’t think I have heard of anyone classified as sluts when I have been older. Even in the lifestyle there is no sluts.  Well okay we may call them sluts but that is because of role play.  Labelling anyone at my age now to me is non practical. We are more aware of what a decision entails. And if you are horny and need someone to please you then go ahead. You are empowered to act on your urges when you older.  No one can judge you on what you want to do. We are grown up and past that or at least I want to believe we have.

Guilt, I think, is more that you exposed yourself to someone for some cheap fun. At least that is how I perceive it. I may have felt guilty after but more that I wish I had more time to please her.  If there is any guilt or regret is I felt I didn’t do enough and could have done better.  I still have those feelings at times. More so if it is chance hook up.  I love to please a woman and I feel I failed in some way I have regret.

Does the walk of shame for woman means they are not comfortable with themselves?  I don’t think so since being older you have gone through your fair share of experiences. What I think it means they do not want to be perceived in the wrong way.  One girl didn’t want to be seen by anyone after we fooled around. Didn’t want to have that fear of what would be said and the guilt that everyone new.

Now I suspect even if no one knew she would still feel the same. Why?  Maybe she thinks she will be judged by her peers. Her friend was there with her that night and didn’t argue when she stayed. If it was so bad wouldn’t her friend made her go?

How does hooking up make you lose respect?  How does having sex make you feel guilty after having fun with someone?  What actually defines the walk of shame?  I seem to keep coming up with questions.

I think this is a topic I need to research.

I doubt I can find local woman to fuck me to confirm. So I will reach out to the public and ask for you input. If you want to do an anonymous interview please use the contact page and drop me a note.  You can also reach out to me on Twitter.

Skeletons appear out of the dark

I have to say last night was probably the most wildest roller coaster that I have ever been on in a very long time.  I would also rank it up there with the orgy that I had last year.  Why do I say that?  Well I have had a very adventurous youth and when going back to your home town to party you really don’t know who you will run into.

We headed out to Orillia in the early afternoon.  I haven’t been to the area outside of passing it through it on our monthly trips in over 10 years.  It really hasn’t changed much but I have.  I am now a swinger and in open relationship so I have freedom to explore on my own.  Of course you also run the risk of turning up old skeletons.  There are some skeletons I really don’t want to dig up. Continue reading Skeletons appear out of the dark

13 years later

This morning I woke up feeling almost human. The night was long and only getting about 6 hours sleep I am surprised I feel as good as I do.

As to how the night went I am very surprised. Have not seen my one friend in 13 years and it felt like we have not skipped a beat. Lots of stories and laughs throughout the night. Even better he knows our lifestyle so no need to hide anything. Plus I found out he has experience working with metal. My wife just about creamed her panties when he said he had made shackles for another couple.  Needless to say we will be talking more to him about this.

And to my other friend we had a good chat about him not talking about our lifestyle to other people. Even got worried that my other friend was making moves on my wife.  Good friends are hard to find and I am lucky to have the few close ones from past.

All in all it was great night. Now on to the next night of fun and games. Curious on who I will meet.  Off to shower and shave for the ladies tonight.

Hear ye Hear ye – We are in the Lifestyle

Coming out with friends in the lifestyle is one thing that we have been very careful on how we approach it.  Majority of our friends would probably not fully understand our decision.  Mainly because of their beliefs or personalities.  Not to say that we wouldn’t tell if them if they asked, but we choose when and who should know.  Currently there are probably a handful of my friends that know and a few of my wife’s friends. Continue reading Hear ye Hear ye – We are in the Lifestyle

Open to Change – V2

When we started this adventure it was not by a simple conversation.  It was a shock for me and it took about a week for it to be fully processed.  The first three days were the hardest.  During that time I wrote a few articles.  I posted them on another site and also wrote into a former porn star for guidance.  I actually have the recording of her reply on her podcast.  (maybe I will post that at some point)

Anyway my first story I wrote is based on how I was informed of my wife wanting to explore.  To be fair the way I process information is not the normal way so please understand that everyone deals differently.  I have been criticised harshly on the other site along with my wife being called a whore because of this article.  Luckily she is a sexy whore and I love her with all my heart.

If you enjoy this please let me know in the comments.  Feedback is very helpful for me on what I am posting.  I might even post the rest of the chapters in time if you like this one.

Please note that I edited minor parts due to my writing skills back then were poor but the original content is still the same.


Continue reading Open to Change – V2

Tied up in my search for meaning

Discovering yourself is an interesting challenge.  You don’t know what it is you are looking for until you come across it.  Like most things you usually are introuduced to something new.  This has been my experience for the past few years.  As to what I have tried, well, I will try almost anything once, twice if I like it. 😉

Unfortunately there are things that I don’t get aroused from.  One is bondage play which stems from my younger days and an interaction with my first long term girlfriend.  Back then I was a cook at a resturant and working with heavy pans you build up strong muscles in your wrists and hands.  Unknowning to me I gripped her wrists to tightly by accident and she told me it hurts.  To this day I focus to not hurt the woman during sex.  I understand that bondage is not always to hurt. It is to restrict the person but for myself I do not feel comfortable with doing that.

One advantage of having more than one partner in this life style is that each person brings there own bag of tricks.  Experience and pleasure is the ultimate goal and everyone is different.  Some squirt while others like to do the bondage.  I just like making woman cum, and if they squirt that is a bonus.  Some love to use toys on woman.  I always feel that I am being replaced by toys but I am starting to slowly come around to toy play.  Krystalla3 would love to hear that, since it is one thing that she loves.  She also is now keen on the bondage thing.  Myself I can’t get there so for here to explore outside of myself it makes me a little nervous.  Not to mention a bit jealous that it is something that I doubt I can experience with her.

Now you are wondering “Why is he not talking to her about this directly?” and the simple answer is we have.  We have talked about this lots of times and she reminds me that she understands that I do not get off on it.  Like I mentioned above, it is something that she is looking for and with other partners it is possible.  My problem is that I feel I let her down, something that I can’t do to please her.  We have both agreed to do what we enjoy and if we try something new and didn’t like it we don’t have to do it again.  Problem is that if one person enjoys it and the other doesn’t where do you go from there?

It is a delima that I didn’t expect to come up since I thought I could do most things. Now I am fighting internally to figure out what does turn me on. What other things besides the act of sex gives me an arousal?

For the past week or so I want to try something new.  Just don’t know what NEW is?  Is it s new couple?  Is it a new girl?  Does it involve toys?  I just don’t know.  I think it stems from my quad signing up on a new site geared towards fetishes.  I didn’t want to join up since I didn’t want the disappointment of being ignored again.  For any site the men out way the woman and it seems that being a woman makes it a lot easier to be engaged.  Men not so much. And I really don’t think I have any fetish.

Looking forward I think new rules will be imposed if that is the direction she wants to explore. Not rules for the bondage but more if it will involve people outside our group. Alone play is not an issue we have done that in the past. Tying my wife up involves a large amount of trust. Regardless if she trusts them I need to also trust them too.

I bounced around in a lot of different places for this blog entry. My mind does that since it is taking all the information in and than formulating a conclusion. At this point I don’t have one yet but stay tuned. When I do I will let you know.