Boundaries are there for a reason

Rules are made not to be broken in the lifestyle. They protect the couple along with who you are with.  This ensures that what happens is with in everyone’s comfort zone.

Respect by all parties is key. If there is no respect than how can you ensure they will follow the rules or boundaries you have establish.  For myself when we go to clubs I have a no play rule.  This is to protect myself along with my partners.  In the wrong position things can escalate. An experience from my past has made me put this rule in place due to lack of communication. I don’t not want to have another issue arise and no play ensures everyone is protected. This could change in the future (sooner than some think) but for now it is my safety net. 
The issue is what to do when when you have someone that ignores the rules.  An example might be that a specific act is not allowed by a partner.  If this is not told to the other person and it happens who is at fault?  And would the other partner get upset?  This is why communication is so important.  Working through the situation is easier since it was a lack of communication. What happens if there was communication?
If the act is communicated and the person ignored it than this a major issue. This is the worst type of situation since now you have an issue where you can’t trust this person.  If they have no respect for you than they also don’t respect your partner.  And because of this there needs to be a serious discussion on where that relationship will go in the future.
We have come across some situations involving boundaries. It has occurred but more on the person stretching the rule. Regardless the rule is there to protect all involved. Trying to work around it or circumvent it is still a major issue.  This ended the relationship because the person didn’t respect us.
Another scenario happened where the person didn’t seem to respect the other partner.  Even though it may seem harmless there is still the couple as a whole that needs to be respected.  The lifestyle can be complicated with emotions and feelings and that is why we have limits, boundaries, and rules in place.
Keep in mind the rules only work if you bring up concerns. If you don’t than assumptions are made and like I have stated in the past that is not what you want to happen. Always inform any concerns you have with your partner. And keep in mind that sometimes it might not be heard the way you thought you said it. Listen and be patient with each other and things will work itself out, together.
Everyone has different wants and goals. Every couple will have different than rules. It is the communication between everyone that ensures there are no surprises. And trust me no one is perfect. As long as things are discussed after an incident than you will be fine.
Respect is so important. We have been fortunate to have some awesome people we have meet that respect us and go out of there way to make sure everything is clear. Without that than we would run into drama and we don’t need that. We are here to have fun. If you aren’t having fun than why do it?


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