Attention makes you a super hero

We all love attention. For one it boosts are egos if it is the good type. It also makes you feel included. This one one thing I have been dealing with for majority of my life.

I had a sister with a genetic disease when I grew up. She got all the attention. Even more so when I we hit our teens.  I started to rebel and well it didn’t produce attention, they focused on the good sister.  It was hard to talk and not be heard. Still happens to some degree with my parents even now. Back than it was hurtful and caused conflict between my sister and me for years.  The other side of the coin was my sister went out to make sure she was the centre of attention. This involved any way she could. I was resentful of her for that, and to a degree still am even after her passing 12 years ago. She made me crave it when I was younger. Seek it out. Fortunately I have grown to balance it, when I can.  There are times when I crave it but it more comes from when everyone else is getting it.

Now comes the lifestyle. Where girls rule and men are clambering to get the woman’s attention. I have seen some awful pick up lines. Ones that I don’t even know how they get laid or even a woman to talk to them. Don’t get me wrong most men are pigs. No respect towards the woman. They ruin it for the majority of decent, shy, and non confident men.  The difference with woman is that they almost have to do no effort.  Heck they could put up a profile with no picture and blank profile and they will get responses within minutes.

It is frustrating to see my wife get numerous engagements on dating sites (she closed her account for a period and recently reopened it) . I can’t even get a girl to respond to simple clean messages. She has more guys lined up to talk to her and I feel like I am in the shadows. Worst is that any couple that I have found has never worked. She seems to find the ones that work.  So it feels that I can’t even “date for two” properly.

Even at the club the few times that we have gone the woman seem to own the place.  Guys are the shadows, and blend into the environment while the woman seem to be the angels that shine throughout the night.  Being told that I am good looking all my life, I would think that it holds a little cred in getting some attention.  Than again, I have never been picked up by a woman, or even hit on.  Of course us men are sometimes oblivious to being picked up by a lady at times too.

The right amount of attention can make a man a super hero.  He will do unbelievable things.  And the more attention we get it is possible the wilder we get.  I know for myself that I can start to act more freely if get positive attention, which can be dangerous when combined with alcohol.  And if by chance you have the men in an environment where they are able to do ANYTHING they want, it could make for an interesting night.

I can say that recently I have been out and with alcohol flowing and subtle attention I become more confident.  This is great, but when you are in an environment where control is needed it becomes like a smouldering fire inside me.  Building up to a roaring bonfire that I need to release.  This is where I can get out of control and dangerous, which is why I am lucky I have my wife (and poly wife) to keep me in check.  Left free in this mood and I would get into trouble.  I know since my younger days in dating I was out of control and I supressed that when I got married.  Lately it has been unsealed and old habits start to kick in. Only back than I was young and single and not trying balancing our quads emotions.

Attention like alcohol is a drug.  It gives you a high.  Building you up and making you feel invincible.  It is temporary since it does wear off or can be lost if things go a different direction but still if you are on this high, anything is possible.  It is also why I take major offence to being ignored.  Probably why I get so frustrated with the dating sites.  The fastest way in getting me mad is ignore me.  And no attention won’t fix it either if I am ignored.  Well not easily.

Have stated before that men are simple creatures, and attention is on of those little things that can make a man feel on top of the world.  We take for granted so many things, and because of that we forget the small things.  Subtle actions, for both parties, that make them feel wanted.  I noticed I have forgotten this myself and focus more on trying to make sure I do this.

Attention is the cheapest drug around.  It is free to give and receive.  It has the only consequence of making someone happy.  And if everyone is happy only good things will happen.  I challenge everyone to give at least someone a little attention once a day.  Partner, friend or even a stranger. Much like a smile to a stranger a little attention can go a long way.

2 thoughts on “Attention makes you a super hero”

  1. Attention…yes it’s a strong word. It’s used to keep people focused on one person during times of training,it’s what we all want when we look to be heard…good things come from focused attention by others. It can boost our spirits,raise our egos or simply make us feel warm inside from being heard.
    It can also be a bad thing…too much of it & it can be as you say a “drug” causing us to seek out that high that we get from not enough,not to say that we all do but I myself have gotten that “attention high” causing me to be an “attention whore”…feeling like I needed it to make me a better person than who I was before I got that “attention high”.
    Truth is we all get attention from people in our daily lives…it’s how we accept that attention,how we use the attention we recieve to help rather than hinder.
    Does the attention we receive on a daily basis go unnoticed because we become too used to it & not accept it as the great thing that it is from another person that is in our normal daily lives,being as they are willing to give us their attention…or do we become jealous of the attention others receive due to it being different from ours?
    People are different & some are willing to give out more attention than they receive,others need that attention to get them through the day. I like to think that people can be willing to give more than receive, tis the season. Taking the littlest form of attention like your dog laying his chin on your knee & looking up at you,means that you have made a difference in his life & he appreciates that.
    Like your wife/lover after placing your hands on her hips & kissing the nape of her neck as she’s intently focused on something else,you feel her relax in your hands…you know your simple attention to her has put her at ease.
    Main point… (I see what you’re saying & I agree wholeheartedly)The attention that we give/receive can make us so strong,so powerful on a day to day basis that we forget that we already have that power/force to make a huge difference in someone’s life…all it takes is a little bit of attention from us all,attention to how they feel,attention to how they are when they receive it from you or someone else,attention given to the smallest things around us will make us feel more powerful than actually receiving any attention that would be given to us.

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