We all love attention. For one it boosts are egos if it is the good type. It also makes you feel included. This one one thing I have been dealing with for majority of my life.
I had a sister with a genetic disease when I grew up. She got all the attention. Even more so when I we hit our teens. I started to rebel and well it didn’t produce attention, they focused on the good sister. It was hard to talk and not be heard. Still happens to some degree with my parents even now. Back than it was hurtful and caused conflict between my sister and me for years. The other side of the coin was my sister went out to make sure she was the centre of attention. This involved any way she could. I was resentful of her for that, and to a degree still am even after her passing 12 years ago. She made me crave it when I was younger. Seek it out. Fortunately I have grown to balance it, when I can. There are times when I crave it but it more comes from when everyone else is getting it.
Now comes the lifestyle. Where girls rule and men are clambering to get the woman’s attention. I have seen some awful pick up lines. Ones that I don’t even know how they get laid or even a woman to talk to them. Don’t get me wrong most men are pigs. No respect towards the woman. They ruin it for the majority of decent, shy, and non confident men. The difference with woman is that they almost have to do no effort. Heck they could put up a profile with no picture and blank profile and they will get responses within minutes.
It is frustrating to see my wife get numerous engagements on dating sites (she closed her account for a period and recently reopened it) . I can’t even get a girl to respond to simple clean messages. She has more guys lined up to talk to her and I feel like I am in the shadows. Worst is that any couple that I have found has never worked. She seems to find the ones that work. So it feels that I can’t even “date for two” properly.
Even at the club the few times that we have gone the woman seem to own the place. Guys are the shadows, and blend into the environment while the woman seem to be the angels that shine throughout the night. Being told that I am good looking all my life, I would think that it holds a little cred in getting some attention. Than again, I have never been picked up by a woman, or even hit on. Of course us men are sometimes oblivious to being picked up by a lady at times too.
The right amount of attention can make a man a super hero. He will do unbelievable things. And the more attention we get it is possible the wilder we get. I know for myself that I can start to act more freely if get positive attention, which can be dangerous when combined with alcohol. And if by chance you have the men in an environment where they are able to do ANYTHING they want, it could make for an interesting night.
I can say that recently I have been out and with alcohol flowing and subtle attention I become more confident. This is great, but when you are in an environment where control is needed it becomes like a smouldering fire inside me. Building up to a roaring bonfire that I need to release. This is where I can get out of control and dangerous, which is why I am lucky I have my wife (and poly wife) to keep me in check. Left free in this mood and I would get into trouble. I know since my younger days in dating I was out of control and I supressed that when I got married. Lately it has been unsealed and old habits start to kick in. Only back than I was young and single and not trying balancing our quads emotions.
Attention like alcohol is a drug. It gives you a high. Building you up and making you feel invincible. It is temporary since it does wear off or can be lost if things go a different direction but still if you are on this high, anything is possible. It is also why I take major offence to being ignored. Probably why I get so frustrated with the dating sites. The fastest way in getting me mad is ignore me. And no attention won’t fix it either if I am ignored. Well not easily.
Have stated before that men are simple creatures, and attention is on of those little things that can make a man feel on top of the world. We take for granted so many things, and because of that we forget the small things. Subtle actions, for both parties, that make them feel wanted. I noticed I have forgotten this myself and focus more on trying to make sure I do this.
Attention is the cheapest drug around. It is free to give and receive. It has the only consequence of making someone happy. And if everyone is happy only good things will happen. I challenge everyone to give at least someone a little attention once a day. Partner, friend or even a stranger. Much like a smile to a stranger a little attention can go a long way.